Butwaa! 2

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Any mlevi reading this knows that hio mkojo ndio ime hold back kuzima ziii. So Liz takes her to a nearby washroom, and when she comes back, her legs seem to have forgotten their function, you know, like holding the body weight and supporting locomotion. Miguu zake ziko jelly jelly. So she just says,  "ebu mnishikilie kiasi"  That, my friends, was the last time I saw her standing. Her eyes shut, her mouth failed the speaking test, and she just fell into our hands. Visiting hours zimeisha, amevaa uniform, tuko in a location civilian hawafai kukuwa. Trouble was brewing like the water we just drank. We tell Liz juu pia yeye ako na uniform aende akuje na help as we try to make her vomit and pour water on her. Waapi!  Liz alienda na simu yake and the clothes we had brought. Mpaka leo 11 years later hajawai rudi. We are there for 30 mins and catch the radar: civilians on government land. A whistle is blown, and close to 40 officers are on scene in a minute. Zilishuka mpaka nikak...
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Brr..🥶

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Where I am from, 

July is known as the fridge month. 

So this time June has been as cold as July and I haven't heard of global cooling yet. So I don't understand the temperature. Anyway this cold weather brings or has always brought together pairs of animal species like the times of Noah, mostly humans. 

For me though, this cold season evokes very different memories not of cuddles or bonfires. So I trained with the NYS naivasha camp and let me tell you, Naivasha is the confusing cold and dry we were learning in social studies. In the camps you wake up before dawn breaks. At 3am everyone has been awake for half an hour, it's dark and cold, fatigue sticks to you like a shadow but you must keep going, after all you don't have any choice. 



Everyone has a duty to carry out in the camp and I was among those tasked with washing the slabs around the barracks. This is how it goes, you get a bucket of water and you have to use the water as you wish as long as the slabs are clean by daylight. I had not showered for at least a week if my memory served me correct. Except the cold as the main reasons, there were other factors in play like the schedule was tight and there were limited number of buckets. 

That day I decided that, leo slabs si chafu lakini mimi ni mchafu.. nkaenda kwa bafu mbio kabla watu wa kuosha huko wafike.. the wise men of ago said that maji ukiyavulia nguo sharti uyaoge but lemme tell you dear reader, heeeh. The moment I was all naked I realized my mistake.

 The weather did not allow anyone to be naked, leave alone pour water, and even more crazy bathe the body. I gained courage and said fear will not be my portion like how your favorite pastor motivates you and proceeded to pour water on my clean shaven head. 

Wueh, instant brain freeze, hata sabuni sikuguza. I put on my clothes after drying my head and gave back the water to be used for more reasonable work. I was not ready to be found dead naked, just because I wanted to bath with the caption. 

“ICE KING, 

THE RENOWN STORYTELLER,

WAS FOUND DEAD IN THE BATHROOM 

AFTER ATTEMPTING TO BATHE WITH ICE COLD WATER 

IN THE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING.”

Comments

  1. AnonymousAugust 27, 2023 at 3:24 AM

    The caption killed it... "ice kimg" 🤣🤣.. Moto sana

    ReplyDelete

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Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

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