Shimonjero

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  You know those times unasikia ni kama unachizi? Umepanga vitu zako vizuri, from A-Z then everything decides to go tits up kama mende imededi? So recently I was in such a bubble, naona tu Dim.  Nikasema sitachizi niliona, wacha I go see my hombre, Tommie, pale Kach. It's very peaceful place btw. After the first day, we are beating stories after kumaliza shughuli mbili tatu, nothing major, just enough to feel productive without actually being productive.  Out of nowhere, Tommie leans in like he’s about to reveal state secrets. “Btw nilikuwa na mpango na fulani na yule jirani  nilikuwa nataka tupangane.  Si tufike hivyo?” We pull up to Jirani's compound, and the first thing we see? Two cocks. Full chest out. Feathers flying. Pride on the line. These roosters were not playing. This wasn’t a disagreement, this was generational beef. You could tell one of them had been waiting for this moment since childhood. Jamaa sees us and instead of greeting like a normal human...
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Brr..🥶

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Where I am from, 

July is known as the fridge month. 

So this time June has been as cold as July and I haven't heard of global cooling yet. So I don't understand the temperature. Anyway this cold weather brings or has always brought together pairs of animal species like the times of Noah, mostly humans. 

For me though, this cold season evokes very different memories not of cuddles or bonfires. So I trained with the NYS naivasha camp and let me tell you, Naivasha is the confusing cold and dry we were learning in social studies. In the camps you wake up before dawn breaks. At 3am everyone has been awake for half an hour, it's dark and cold, fatigue sticks to you like a shadow but you must keep going, after all you don't have any choice. 



Everyone has a duty to carry out in the camp and I was among those tasked with washing the slabs around the barracks. This is how it goes, you get a bucket of water and you have to use the water as you wish as long as the slabs are clean by daylight. I had not showered for at least a week if my memory served me correct. Except the cold as the main reasons, there were other factors in play like the schedule was tight and there were limited number of buckets. 

That day I decided that, leo slabs si chafu lakini mimi ni mchafu.. nkaenda kwa bafu mbio kabla watu wa kuosha huko wafike.. the wise men of ago said that maji ukiyavulia nguo sharti uyaoge but lemme tell you dear reader, heeeh. The moment I was all naked I realized my mistake.

 The weather did not allow anyone to be naked, leave alone pour water, and even more crazy bathe the body. I gained courage and said fear will not be my portion like how your favorite pastor motivates you and proceeded to pour water on my clean shaven head. 

Wueh, instant brain freeze, hata sabuni sikuguza. I put on my clothes after drying my head and gave back the water to be used for more reasonable work. I was not ready to be found dead naked, just because I wanted to bath with the caption. 

“ICE KING, 

THE RENOWN STORYTELLER,

WAS FOUND DEAD IN THE BATHROOM 

AFTER ATTEMPTING TO BATHE WITH ICE COLD WATER 

IN THE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING.”

Comments

  1. AnonymousAugust 27, 2023 at 3:24 AM

    The caption killed it... "ice kimg" 🤣🤣.. Moto sana

    ReplyDelete

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Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

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