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Showing posts from October, 2025

Nòî

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On another episode of: things that never happened, or did they? Saturday or Sunday, many many many moons ago. I used to go to the bafu na towel pekee always wondering how women always walked around in skirts. So after showering it was free mode mpaka kejani. Kwa buloti, it was a communal bathroom so you had to carry your bucket. Na ukipata mtu yuko ndani, unapanga laini. On this particular day nilikuwa nimechemsha maji niko ready kuingia kwa bafu, jirani beat me to the bathroom by seconds. I left my bucket full of warm water hapo nikiwa frustrated then nikaingia kejani kutime akitoka, naruka ndani. Asubuhi gets chilly so you can't just hang around there waiting ukiwa kifua iko nje, umejifunga towel pekee. Akamaliza nikaskia mlango yake imefunga, nikakimbia bafu fasta fasta maji yangu isipoe, ingepoa ingekuwa balaa. Kumbe she was not yet done, alikua ameacha karai yake na maji hapo ndani arudi kuosha kifuniko. Mimi naye nokatoa hio basin nje nikaingia kwa bafu, this is not ...

Take me back.

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              A couple of months back, nilikuwa nimeenda place fulani shughuli na one of my boyz, Tommy, tulikuwa Whistling Moran I think. Tulifika mapema, tumetulia tunangoja tu clients wafike. I always arrive early for business, a skill I unknowingly picked up from my old man. Tommy alikuwa anataka kushika one or two beers to kill time before clients wafike, lakini nikamsho zii, business first, atashika a couple of beers after tumemalizana na clients.  Tulikuwa tunataka tu kufine tune some details kwa contract fulani tulipata ya kuweka some serious coins in our pockets with the clients ndio tusichomeke. After they arrive, tunaanza kuiron out some details with the clients, it takes a while, going back and forth, and right before I reach my breaking point to snap and maybe flip the table on them like I have see it done in the movies, the clients compromises, and agree to some of the changes we want in the contract.  Satisfied, we bid the clie...

Damn!

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 I’ve been quiet lately.  Not because I joined a meditation retreat in Tigoni or went offline to “find myself” in Ngong Hills. No. My situation ship had ghosted me again, and my bank balance was giving K.P.L.C. token vibes, very dark and annoying. It started on a random Saturday in my crib.  I was lying on my bed, scrolling endlessly through Twitter, laughing at people with soft lives, I decided to do something I hadn't done in a while, think. Proper thinking. Not the one where I pretend to reflect but actually just replaying movies in your head that you have previously watched. I had this deep reflection while staring at my ceiling, asking the universe the big questions after munching on three chapatis with beans  (you'll have to excuse my love for chapatis),  and then as I lay there in silence  (ok,  there were a couple of mosquitos buzzing around,  but still),  the truth knocked, and it hit me.  Accountability is not a punishment,...

Rhumba ya Jirani.

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  It's 11:18, I'm yet to sleep.  Earlier, hapo 6 or 7 pm, jirani karibu animalize na Dojo Maber, playing it over and over again, karibu I head over there, knock on their door, and tell them, hata kama ni kupenda wimbo aje, imetosha sasa.  But ni kama alijua or alisense before niende nimbishie, akachange playlist, akaamua sasa ni ngoma za Sauti Sol back to back. As I'm writing this, ni Insecure by Sauti Sol playing, ma baddies wakising along this part at the top of their voices,  Chini ya maji, si ni machizi Twachunguzana kipolisi And your body is a movie And I hope you feel the same But you're insecure (eeeeeh) Oh my you're insecure (aaaaaah) Oh my you're insecure (eeeeeh) And I'm insecure (aaaaaah) Before like an hour before, nilikuwa niko 50/50, scratch that, nilikuwa nimebakisha kidogo ni gate crush, ju naskia masauti nyororo, niko zile za damn it!  Si nivuke kwa jirani?  Kumbe this is how Fomo feels like? Such a nasty, nasty feeling! Inafanya hadi nakaa...