Posts

Nòî

Image
On another episode of: things that never happened, or did they? Saturday or Sunday, many many many moons ago. I used to go to the bafu na towel pekee always wondering how women always walked around in skirts. So after showering it was free mode mpaka kejani. Kwa buloti, it was a communal bathroom so you had to carry your bucket. Na ukipata mtu yuko ndani, unapanga laini. On this particular day nilikuwa nimechemsha maji niko ready kuingia kwa bafu, jirani beat me to the bathroom by seconds. I left my bucket full of warm water hapo nikiwa frustrated then nikaingia kejani kutime akitoka, naruka ndani. Asubuhi gets chilly so you can't just hang around there waiting ukiwa kifua iko nje, umejifunga towel pekee. Akamaliza nikaskia mlango yake imefunga, nikakimbia bafu fasta fasta maji yangu isipoe, ingepoa ingekuwa balaa. Kumbe she was not yet done, alikua ameacha karai yake na maji hapo ndani arudi kuosha kifuniko. Mimi naye nokatoa hio basin nje nikaingia kwa bafu, this is not ...

INSECURE

Image
                 As I am writing this naskia masikio inakuwa moto ju ya hasira. Self control inashikiliwa na just a thread, nisikute that individual na panga niifanye shwaa shwaa shwaa, ka Samurai Jack. Najua mnashangaa mbona your storyteller amejaa ngori hivi, a certain individual, tuliagree nimpigie ma one two, nikatimiza, sasa kumpigia naskia mteja wa nambari uliyopiga hapatikani kwa sasa!   I'm livid, nashangaa rada hapa ni gani? In my mind, najaribu kuangalia mbona the individual yuko mteja from all perceptives, labda simu imezima, or imepotea, or pahali yuko hakuna network ndio call haingii, lakini the funny thing is there's a voice at the back of my head going hapanaaa! hapanaaa! hapanaa!  Anyway, I give the individual time, perhaps they will get back to me, explain to me why my calls to them were not going through you know? Naenda napiga shughuli mbili tatu, try to keep my mind occupied. Kuna this fear in another part o...

Shughuli zote.

Image
                    Yesterday was crazy, watu wa Arsenal walikuwa wamejaa kujaa CBD celebrating. You can't really fault them for being happy, and excited. Imagine 22 years! Imagine coming close to winning the title in the previous seasons, then Arsenal wins the 25/26 league title, just like that. I was beside myself with happiness, not only myself, but other Arsenal fans throughout the world. Nimeamka leo kichwa ikienda tu  “silali... Finale... Refa puliza kipenga..” I know it's been a while since I dropped a something awesome for y'all. Sijawasahau, something was cooking in the pipeline. Now it's time to enjoy an exquisite story from another exceptional storyteller like yours truly I call Anko, don't you think? “hallo..” “Hello..” “nimeona CV yako mahali na naona huna kazi sindio?" "Yes"  I answered very happy that CV haikujipata ikifunga nyama in some dingy butchery, or zinafungia comrade chapo za supper. "Sawa.., niko na kaz...

Stories from the banking hall

Image
  People out here are angry, really angry. I know this is no way to start a story, but relax it's heading somewhere, I promise. It's a chilly morning and I'm at a bank waiting for my turn to be served, service yao ilikuwa imeanza kusumbua from Monday, but hey, that's a story for another time. I could feel like I was a bit out of place, you know? because the last time I remember I was in a bank was many years ago, when I was on campus, paying for my fees. Mzazi aliniamia bana, alijua ningepata guts, temptations za kukula fee ingekam, ningejua venye ningeilipa. So where was I?  Oh yes, there is this guy who is seated like 2 or three seats away from me, bigger and older than me from the looks of it, looks like a business man, or in lay man terms jamaa wa madeals. After a few minutes waiting, he starts getting impatient, and frustrated so he starts complaining, why is the service taking so long, can't they go a little faster, and so on and so forth.  I'm seated ther...