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Showing posts from August, 2024

Hey baby...

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Guys…. Eeei! Niko na furaha, na si ati pesa ni nyingi, mnaweza nunulia your favorite storyteller kahawa, if y'all don't mind, jameni baridi mingi. Anyway, where was I? Yes. Eeei! Sijawahi jua the joy of discovering a new song by accident (si ile by accident ingine ya excuse ya your cheating partner akijitetea akipatwa), hukuwa amazing hivi. Leo, start of the week, nimeamkia mjengo kusaka Singaporean shillings ya kufanya one two, foreman akasema leo, nijaribu another week, siko kwa hesabu ya hio wiki, nirudi nilale, nikasikia tu ki sadness ingine kwa chest ime descend. Nikajiambia haidhuru, nikaleft site, nikachapa lap kiasi mtaani, then nikarudi kejani, nione kama nitafinya finya kompyuta dollar itoke. Kufika kejani, nikasema before niingie shughuli, wacha niingie YouTube, niweke background music kiasi to vibe with. Music plays for sometime, akili hata haiko hapo, it's just like filling the noise at the time(you know how our folks used to put news on, and they aren't ev...
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Hawkers Jameni IV

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This is a continuation from  Hawker Jameni III            Why would they place such important things so distant from one another? I wondered. I ran up the next flight of stairs, knocking down a couple of mannequins. After asking yet another attendant, she pointed to the changing booths at the far end of the floor.  I limped into the changing room and shut the door. I quickly chucked the shorts and stretched one rubber band, slid one foot into it and rolled it up to my thigh. I then tucked my homo erectus and held it against one thigh with the band.  The bands were quite small and tight, the poor quality has a low elasticity so I added another one and walked out, like a normal human being – relieved- albeit with a slight limp. The bands were a little tight and uncomfortable but they were better than a dangling deek in public. I was so relieved that as I walked down the stairs, I confidently saluted an attendant who was redressing the mannequin...
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What if?

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The previous few weeks had been draining. I don't want to get into details, but bad things, one after another, kept on happening, and all you could say is Yarabi, shake that tree, let the bastard fall, and fall hard!  Anyway, bad things happening back to back might make your blood boil in anger, or you sink in a deep hole of anguish and despair. I decided to go chill with someone's daughter for a while.  You know, the good old Netflix & chill. There I was, arriving at someone's daughter's residence, having scrutinized all exit points in case shit hits the fan or as the layman says, (incase kanuke), and I got the chance to bounce real quick. Having done the necessary, and layed out a plan in my head in case things go south, I knocked on her door.  I had informed her prior to coming, and she had given me the go ahead to come, but it never hurts to be prepared, you never know. She opens the door, and I can't help but laugh. She is in a minions themed onesie, lookin...
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