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Showing posts from March, 2026

Stories from the banking hall

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  People out here are angry, really angry. I know this is no way to start a story, but relax it's heading somewhere, I promise. It's a chilly morning and I'm at a bank waiting for my turn to be served, service yao ilikuwa imeanza kusumbua from Monday, but hey, that's a story for another time. I could feel like I was a bit out of place, you know? because the last time I remember I was in a bank was many years ago, when I was on campus, paying for my fees. Mzazi aliniamia bana, alijua ningepata guts, temptations za kukula fee ingekam, ningejua venye ningeilipa. So where was I?  Oh yes, there is this guy who is seated like 2 or three seats away from me, bigger and older than me from the looks of it, looks like a business man, or in lay man terms jamaa wa madeals. After a few minutes waiting, he starts getting impatient, and frustrated so he starts complaining, why is the service taking so long, can't they go a little faster, and so on and so forth.  I'm seated ther...

Butwaa! 2

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Continuation from Butwaa Any mlevi reading this knows that hio mkojo ndio ime hold back kuzima ziii. So Liz takes her to a nearby washroom, and when she comes back, her legs seem to have forgotten their function, you know, like holding the body weight and supporting locomotion. Miguu zake ziko jelly jelly. So she just says,  "ebu mnishikilie kiasi"  That, my friends, was the last time I saw her standing. Her eyes shut, her mouth failed the speaking test, and she just fell into our hands. Visiting hours zimeisha, amevaa uniform, tuko in a location civilian hawafai kukuwa. Trouble was brewing like the water we just drank. We tell Liz juu pia yeye ako na uniform aende akuje na help as we try to make her vomit and pour water on her. Waapi!  Liz alienda na simu yake and the clothes we had brought. Mpaka leo 11 years later hajawai rudi. We are there for 30 mins and catch the radar: civilians on government land. A whistle is blown, and close to 40 officers ...

Butwaa!

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   Having friends is great, having stupid friends is better  having diabolical friends? even crazier.                Today I will beat for you hekaya of one of my many bad choices. So Kenya Prisons training takes nine months and there is a mid training visiting and the final graduation known as pass out where the prezo or their mkubwa comes to make lies for promises.  I have a friend called Daudi, who has a girlfriend called Abby, she was the one graduating. Abby has a best friend, Salma, Daudi has a cousin, Daniel, then kuna yours truly. Abby invited Daudi, and Salma. Daudi goes ahead and invites yours truly and Dan. We contacted and met Daudi in tao. We are to meet Salma since hatujuani twende pamoja. My main role in this visit was to prevent the boy from throwing himself in the road and connect to Sayuni, that is if apate serekali imebadilishwa, if you get what I mean. Also to suggest good poisons(liquor), in case things get...