Butwaa! 2

Any mlevi reading this knows that hio mkojo ndio ime hold back kuzima ziii. So Liz takes her to a nearby washroom, and when she comes back, her legs seem to have forgotten their function, you know, like holding the body weight and supporting locomotion. Miguu zake ziko jelly jelly. So she just says,  "ebu mnishikilie kiasi"  That, my friends, was the last time I saw her standing. Her eyes shut, her mouth failed the speaking test, and she just fell into our hands. Visiting hours zimeisha, amevaa uniform, tuko in a location civilian hawafai kukuwa. Trouble was brewing like the water we just drank. We tell Liz juu pia yeye ako na uniform aende akuje na help as we try to make her vomit and pour water on her. Waapi!  Liz alienda na simu yake and the clothes we had brought. Mpaka leo 11 years later hajawai rudi. We are there for 30 mins and catch the radar: civilians on government land. A whistle is blown, and close to 40 officers are on scene in a minute. Zilishuka mpaka nikak...

Ma thigh๐Ÿ˜


On Christmas day of 2021, I was in downtown Nairobi to pick something, don't ask what. Somewhere close to a river, and bridge, and one old tree. Old as time itself. Off the main drag of this hubbub is Nairobi. The road there was wet, potholed, muddy, and puddled. The bars are small, with net curtains fastened to small full water bottles on one end. The bars there are noisy. Plus the noise there is vulgar. And the vulgar-ness is eternal. 

It keeps going. It keeps germinating. It keeps growing. It keeps shooting at you with, 

“How can they say that in public?”



That place had also another resident fame. 

Thighs! 

Let me tell you, beloved reader, there is a place in this city where thighs are big and expansive, well-oiled, and willing to see the outside. Standing thighs, seated thighs. One thigh on top of another thigh thighs. You will see thighs emerge from doors behind unholy darkness. 
Daytime darkness. Thighs that look like they have grown under a greenhouse-controlled atmosphere. Thighs that looked like they could grow healthy Hass avocado seedlings to fruition.  I don't think I have seen such a huge congregation of thighs in one place before—not that I have been actively looking. And I don't think I will ever—again.
That day, someone called me. I didn't pick. Later on, they called me to ask me why I didn't pick up their call. I couldn't say, I was at a place where thighs were endless. I profess openly not to be a thigh guy 99.9% of the time. 
I am a hot chocolate guy. Thighs can't affect me the same way hot chocolate would. I just remembered this because I recently saw a video on YouTube of a guy that filmed that part in Nairobi, and what he filmed, oh boy! came back with a true testimony of those thighs.


Written by Ndugu Abisai.

Edited by Letstoriesunfold ™

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