Shimonjero

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  You know those times unasikia ni kama unachizi? Umepanga vitu zako vizuri, from A-Z then everything decides to go tits up kama mende imededi? So recently I was in such a bubble, naona tu Dim.  Nikasema sitachizi niliona, wacha I go see my hombre, Tommie, pale Kach. It's very peaceful place btw. After the first day, we are beating stories after kumaliza shughuli mbili tatu, nothing major, just enough to feel productive without actually being productive.  Out of nowhere, Tommie leans in like he’s about to reveal state secrets. “Btw nilikuwa na mpango na fulani na yule jirani  nilikuwa nataka tupangane.  Si tufike hivyo?” We pull up to Jirani's compound, and the first thing we see? Two cocks. Full chest out. Feathers flying. Pride on the line. These roosters were not playing. This wasn’t a disagreement, this was generational beef. You could tell one of them had been waiting for this moment since childhood. Jamaa sees us and instead of greeting like a normal human...

Ma thigh๐Ÿ˜


On Christmas day of 2021, I was in downtown Nairobi to pick something, don't ask what. Somewhere close to a river, and bridge, and one old tree. Old as time itself. Off the main drag of this hubbub is Nairobi. The road there was wet, potholed, muddy, and puddled. The bars are small, with net curtains fastened to small full water bottles on one end. The bars there are noisy. Plus the noise there is vulgar. And the vulgar-ness is eternal. 

It keeps going. It keeps germinating. It keeps growing. It keeps shooting at you with, 

“How can they say that in public?”



That place had also another resident fame. 

Thighs! 

Let me tell you, beloved reader, there is a place in this city where thighs are big and expansive, well-oiled, and willing to see the outside. Standing thighs, seated thighs. One thigh on top of another thigh thighs. You will see thighs emerge from doors behind unholy darkness. 
Daytime darkness. Thighs that look like they have grown under a greenhouse-controlled atmosphere. Thighs that looked like they could grow healthy Hass avocado seedlings to fruition.  I don't think I have seen such a huge congregation of thighs in one place before—not that I have been actively looking. And I don't think I will ever—again.
That day, someone called me. I didn't pick. Later on, they called me to ask me why I didn't pick up their call. I couldn't say, I was at a place where thighs were endless. I profess openly not to be a thigh guy 99.9% of the time. 
I am a hot chocolate guy. Thighs can't affect me the same way hot chocolate would. I just remembered this because I recently saw a video on YouTube of a guy that filmed that part in Nairobi, and what he filmed, oh boy! came back with a true testimony of those thighs.


Written by Ndugu Abisai.

Edited by Letstoriesunfold ™

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