Letstoriesunfold ™

              A couple of months back, nilikuwa nimeenda place fulani shughuli na one of my boyz, Tommy, tulikuwa Whistling Moran I think. Tulifika mapema, tumetulia tunangoja tu clients wafike. I always arrive early for business, a skill I unknowingly picked up from my old man. Tommy alikuwa anataka kushika one or two beers to kill time before clients wafike, lakini nikamsho zii, business first, atashika a couple of beers after tumemalizana na clients.  Tulikuwa tunataka tu kufine tune some details kwa contract fulani tulipata ya kuweka some serious coins in our pockets with the clients ndio tusichomeke. After they arrive, tunaanza kuiron out some details with the clients, it takes a while, going back and forth, and right before I reach my breaking point to snap and maybe flip the table on them like I have see it done in the movies, the clients compromises, and agree to some of the changes we want in the contract.  Satisfied, we bid the clie...

 I’ve been quiet lately.  Not because I joined a meditation retreat in Tigoni or went offline to “find myself” in Ngong Hills. No. My situation ship had ghosted me again, and my bank balance was giving K.P.L.C. token vibes, very dark and annoying. It started on a random Saturday in my crib.  I was lying on my bed, scrolling endlessly through Twitter, laughing at people with soft lives, I decided to do something I hadn't done in a while, think. Proper thinking. Not the one where I pretend to reflect but actually just replaying movies in your head that you have previously watched. I had this deep reflection while staring at my ceiling, asking the universe the big questions after munching on three chapatis with beans  (you'll have to excuse my love for chapatis),  and then as I lay there in silence  (ok,  there were a couple of mosquitos buzzing around,  but still),  the truth knocked, and it hit me.  Accountability is not a punishment,...

  It's 11:18, I'm yet to sleep.  Earlier, hapo 6 or 7 pm, jirani karibu animalize na Dojo Maber, playing it over and over again, karibu I head over there, knock on their door, and tell them, hata kama ni kupenda wimbo aje, imetosha sasa.  But ni kama alijua or alisense before niende nimbishie, akachange playlist, akaamua sasa ni ngoma za Sauti Sol back to back. As I'm writing this, ni Insecure by Sauti Sol playing, ma baddies wakising along this part at the top of their voices,  Chini ya maji, si ni machizi Twachunguzana kipolisi And your body is a movie And I hope you feel the same But you're insecure (eeeeeh) Oh my you're insecure (aaaaaah) Oh my you're insecure (eeeeeh) And I'm insecure (aaaaaah) Before like an hour before, nilikuwa niko 50/50, scratch that, nilikuwa nimebakisha kidogo ni gate crush, ju naskia masauti nyororo, niko zile za damn it!  Si nivuke kwa jirani?  Kumbe this is how Fomo feels like? Such a nasty, nasty feeling! Inafanya hadi nakaa...

             It started subtly but lately, I have been finding myself being suddenly awake at strange hours. Sometimes it may be 1:17 am, 2:43 a.m, 3:11 a.m, or even 3:57 a.m, nothing consistent.   Not because of bad dreams or the usual midnight thirst, sometimes ni ile kuamka kuenda washroom to relieve yourself, ama venye msee huturn ndio akuwe more comfortable, na feel niko observed na presence of something or someone, ilikuwa ina feel something ancient and patient had been watching me.    At first, it was innocent. I had woken up to go pee, then I felt it. Then came the second, third, and fourth night, unajipata you are awake, funny thing hata hauamki to go pee. Uko hapo kwa kitanda staring at darkness, unashangaa rada ni gani, mbona usingizi imepotea impromptu, then you feel that same presence wrap itself around the air like fog, invisible, but undeniable.    Unajaribu kufukuza uwoga, but after sometime inabidi umewasha lig...

  Lemme tell y'all something I discovered, fixing shit unlocks a good feeling in you.  A little backstory, niko kejani nimechill napanga venye siku ya kesho itakuwa. It's around 9/10 pm hapo, niko ndani ya duvet, hii baridi ni mbaya, but I'm kind of happy one ni ju Manchester imenyoroshwa, na Kenya imeweza kuingia quarter finals za Chan. Niko easy, scrolling through, checking emails, sending CVs, na proposals hapa na pale, yenye itanasa ya kwanza. Hii story ya kutafuta shillingi, eeeei inatumaliza! Nimejiambia, wacha ni scroll simu kidogo, kabla usingizi ikuje, nilale kidogo, before usingizi ipotee hapo saa name, tisa, ju ya mawazo ya venye maisha yangu imestagnate, inakuja kukuja. Kiasi kiasi, nastukia niko kwa giza!  Niko zile za Kplc hao, wameanua stima. Naamua nitoke kwa bed, niende ni connect simu kwa charger, ndio ile time stima itarudi, nitaamka asubuhi nipate simu ikiwa full charge. Nikiplug simu hivi, naona, charging. Nikajijazia kumbe ni bulb imeungua. Kuchungul...

 In my days of service I had this friend called Waswa. He was way older than me, like 3 years older but tulikua tume enlist na yeye and we found ourselves sharing a barrack cube. Tulikua 4 in 1 cube. One night while we were off duty, he told me why he joined the military. Waswa was in JKUAT, Juja campus, and he was having some sort of entanglement with his schoolmate, a pretty petite lass called Syombua.  Our boy Waswa was the one visiting her because he was in a shared hostel. Waswa’s pretty lass, Syombua, lived in Weiteithie, in a well furnished apartment. Their relationship was like 3 or 4 months old but Waswa had received all sorts of treatment. From slices to the other slices, I know you know, and if you don't, jokes on you.  Kijana in his mind assumed that the lady came from a seriously loaded family. Makosaa. Sasa one Friday Waswa as usual goes for a sleepover knowing atakula vizuri pande zote. They enjoy the night and netflix as usual until they heard, “Fungua hap...

              In my existence, I have noticed some people are eating life with a big spoon, others like me, life is eating us with big spoons (read spade).  Not so many moons ago I was in a very bad fix, big brain, alot of skills but no paper evidence to match the skill so the people with money think you are a con. Anyway, I had a friend who was a donda (read conductor), I know he makes over 1500 daily because one day he told me, I asked him to link me up to one of the manyangas and he told me, “Si rahisi ni kulink  mimi stakudanganya kama wale uncle wa nyumbani  ati maliza shule nitakueka mahali.”  So he told me about kamagera ( a person who just loads people in a Matatu , and remains.) and their rowdiness. That their survival in nairobi is to be likened to the silverback against 100 men. No mercy. Nikamuuliza, because I want a fishing rod, not the fish itself so as to fend for myself.  So akaniambia you just go to any st...

              Nilikuwa pahali, before this guy, Albert Ojwang, akujiwe kushikwa na apelekwe Sayun na the stupid pigs in uniform.  May Albert Ojwang's family get justice.  Letstoriesunfold  truly empathizes with his family.  Tulikuwa tumeketi place fulani, kwa kikao. You know those kawaida catch-up vibes? There was food, drinks, at a place where the ambience is just right. Grown-up talk. Everyone just dropping life stories, big plans, a couple of throwbacks being tossed around, mini politics tukiitana,  “Hi cousin.” Tukiwa tumeisha mbaya sana, after tumelimana banters back to back. Then out of nowhere, in the middle of a chill convo about life and adulting, this beautiful petite lady — calm voice, radiant smile — anasema,   “By the way,  2010 nilikuwa Class One.” Kila kitu ilisimama. Sips stopped mid-air. Laughter froze. Someone even coughed in shock.   CLASS ONE?  2010? Nikachora quick mental math...

          Something just popped into my mind, that made me chuckle just a bit. No, it's not the fact that Manchester lost, and they way their fans were hyped that they would win the game. There is a particular screenshot I saw somewhere, while I was scrolling maybe on X (Twitter), or on someone's WhatsApp status. Let me paint for you like I'm Leonardo Da Vinci, on how the conversation was.  It all started out with the usual nitty gritties, asking about each other's day, the lady asked what someone's son has been upto.  Someone's daughter was eagerly beseeching someone's son to come over to her place as soon as the guy told her, he was just chilling.  I saw that conversation, and was impressed by the sheer amount of effort she was applying. She goes ahead and invites the guy over, the guy at first says he does not have fare, the lady even offers to send him fare, the guy says he will come the following day, the lady offers a movie night, the guy cl...

               There was a rustle inside. The water had stopped. She opened the bathroom door slightly, peeking out.  “What do you mean?” I looked her in the eyes, and this time, my expression was different. The shadows under the bulb gave my face a subtle weight, like the memory I was about to share had never quite let me go. “The last time kuwa na water heater,    design ilinilima ka ghasia venye nilienda kuzima maji after nimemaliza ku shower nilijipanguza maji nikalala the whole day ju ya kuboeka.” Her hand gripped the doorframe tighter. I chuckled, but it was dry, not amused — grateful. The bathroom door opened fully now. She stood wrapped in a towel, her expression unreadable but softened. “Souley,” she said, voice quieter now,  “why didn’t you just tell me that from the start?” I smiled faintly, stepping to her.  “Some scars don’t talk, unless,  someone listens long enough.” She leaned against the doorframe, th...

        The day before writing this, I had a bad day. Wacha ni rewind kidogo, before I had the bad day, nilikuwa najiwaza nikijiuliza ni wapi nitatoa pesa ya kufanya ma one two three. Kiasi kiasi, around 3 or 4 hapo, in the afternoon, naona simu ikilia. In case you didn't know, zile times uko in the pits of hell, in the dark, struggling to find the way out, ndio simu huwa hailii kabsaa.  I won't lie, simu venye ililia ilinistua kidogo, ju sikuwa na expect any call from anyone, moreso at that time. Ilikuwa a new number, sijawahi lenga kuchukua new number ju huwezi jua who might be trying to reach you with a strangers phone, inaweza kuwa opportunity, inaweza kuwa fahm or Boyz wako yuko kwa ngori, you never know.  Venye nilichukua, nilikuwa nadhani ni vijana wa mulot wamepiga kunijaribu Imani, but I held my tongue, and waited for the person on the other end to speak. “Hello,  naongea na fulani?” I was there wondering huyu ni nani ananijua na simjui, na hi...

       Leo nimefurahi ajab, one, nimepata email fulani ikanifurahisha mbaya, two, would you believe 100 stories zimedrop on Letstoriesunfold? Nikasema wacha niwaangushie something awesome kama kawaida ju mmekuwa mkifurahia from the very first story ilidrop.  I know after this drops, one of the two will be happening. Either, nitakuwa najificha ma fans wa Manchester ama Chelsea kunilemea na banters, ama ma fans wa Manchester na Chelsea watakuwa wanajificha ju ya kiburi venye itakuwa elevated ju ya matokeo.  Nilikuwa nachill tu nikisikiliza Ngoma fulani ya Khaligraph na Nyashinski inaitwa Risk, nikakumbuka kuna someone nilikuwa namtuliza ju kuna pahali aliwekelea pesa, hio organization ikasema iwekelee pesa ya watu Red Bull, pesa za watu ikapata wings ikapepea fwaaa! Hapo someone's mind ilikuwa inachemka kuchemka ka engine ya Passo, ikiwa imekimbizwa siku mzima, alikuwa haamini what the heck just went down. Nimetoka to take a walk, as I figure out what I ...

 It had been a long day, I was scrolling through social media, and I happened to see someone share a screenshot of their Uber driver, who had texted them like this, and I quote  “niko kwa nguruwe  (a place where pork is cooked and eaten),  a few minutes please, I finish eating.” Ilinikumbusha time fulani nilikuwa nimetoka shoot, late in the wee hours of the night with some other people and we had requested an Uber. There were four of us, all tired, but chatting away as we piled into the Uber. We’d wrapped up the shoot, and everyone was just ready to go home.  After we had gone some distance, he casually asked as he pulled up to a petrol station that was just up ahead,  “Kuna mtu yuko na mia saba,  niweke mafuta,  tutasort na price ya trip?” As the rest of us paused for a second, and then he added while an attended came over to the driver's side of the window to inquire,  “Ikiwa mingi nitakutumia balance.” At first, no one said anything. Two p...