Letstoriesunfold ™

Let's rewind to 1:00 PM when she had texted:   “Souley,  go to this place in Ngara,  ask for a guy called Musyoka.  He has the samples.  Just call me when you get there,  I’ll guide you.” Simple, right?  Now it’s 2:44. I’m here. I’ve found Musyoka. He’s chewing miraa, eyeing me like I’m slowing down his evening high.   “Oyaa,  niko na samples.  Si useme venye madam alisema.  Ni hizi ama zile?” I freeze. I don’t know. I was told to wait for her instructions. I try to call her again. Mteja. I text. Double tick. No blue. I even WhatsApp call her, desperate moves, you know? Musyoka is now shifting his weight like a man about to disappear. I try calling her again, muttering under my breath,  “This woman will be the end of me.” Then the rain starts. Nairobi rain doesn’t fall, it attacks. Boda guys scatter, hawkers scramble to save their goods, and I’m there, hunched under a mabati shade, holding a phone that won't ring, wit...

  8:23 am.   It's a few days after Christmas, unajua hizo siku zenye uko autopilot tu, waiting for 31st, upige nduru yako safi, or light up fireworks? It's the 30th, you would think nimetulia, at peace ju niko home, wrong! My mum ananipigia msomo on and on. I want to tell her, it's too early for this bana, chill! Najua nikiongea tu hivi, itakuwa a full blown argument, so I let her be. She is talking about stuff like mbona hauna bibi na watoto sahii?  She goes, nini unangoja? Angalia fulani, si mko age moja? Watu age yako wako na boma already! Tangu umalize campus, sijaona pahali hio masomo imekusaidia… She goes on and on chewing me off. In my head niko zile za Get back get back, you don't know me like that, talking a whole lotta shit I ain't trying to hear.  At that point, I even started regretting mbona nilishow up at home, at all, ningekaa kwangu tu. I'm getting pissed with each minute that passes from my mum chewing me off, mara comparing me to my cousins, ma...

              So I'm just chilling at my crib, I decided to call my G huwa namuita anko, (don’t ask why, story for another day because that story needs a whole episode on its own), tuonge tupange ma one two. Hata hatujaongea sana, nasikia my door ina gongwa gongwa na vurugu. Na pause kiasi.  You know that moment where your spirit steps out of your body for a second to peep through the curtain before you do? Yeah, that one. Na hang up call with my G, saa hio nashangaa ni nani huyu ananitafuta na fujo hivi? Naenda kuangalia, alafu nifungue, nijue how it will go down ie kama kutakuwa na throwing of fists. Kuangalia tu hivi, ni three burly men, wamekula chuma wakashiba ka crocodile imemeza wildebeest mzima time huwa zina cross River Mara Na tense kiasi, but najipiga kifua nilikuambia kama mbaya mbaya! Nafungua mlango nijue venye kutaenda, wananicheki hivi, design wanarudi chini then wako zile za  “Pole.” One of them turns to the rest anawaambia...

                               There I was, doing wahenga proud, you know when they say atafutaye hachoki? I'm there looking for clients to deliver quality, and get paid. So I spot a gig, while I'm looking at the brief, I realize there’s no way I could show up and execute it. I don't bite what I can't chew, so me being me, I decided to hand the gig over to Prof.  Not to seem like I'm gassing him up, but Prof si mtu wa mchezo. legendary guy. Kazi safi, anajua mambo, alafu ni mtu wa heshima. So I link him up with the client for the gig, then quickly texted him,  “kaka,  kuna shughuli hapa nimekuplug.” An hour later, Prof replies with a long ass text. You know it's real when someone types a text yenye kidogo inakaa manuscript ya kupeleka publishing. He goes: “Vipi bazu. Thanks man.   2 months ago, Lorry yangu ililima gari ya wenyewe  Nikakimbizwa sana since insurance ilikua kachap...

Continued from   Take me back              Just like that, my brain replays that crazy and wild night, back then before love ilinionesha shege kweli  kweli, nilikuwa na my then gal (Some how I'd forgotten all about her) , my Boyz and their women at a a certain club along Kiambu road, sikumbuki ni gani.  A couple of guys clearly drunk had bumped into my gal and her group while she was coming from the washrooms accompanied by her group (my Boyz women's). ( To this very day, I have never grasped why women go to the washrooms in groups),  After being told to watch where they are going by my gal, this guys, instead of apologizing, they became arrogant. They started raining vulgar insults on my gal and her group (my Boyz women's).  Mimi niko somewhere just sipping my drinks while observing the fruckus. I locked eyes with my gal at some point during my observation, saw all the balancing tears that were threatening to spill from her ey...

              A couple of months back, nilikuwa nimeenda place fulani shughuli na one of my boyz, Tommy, tulikuwa Whistling Moran I think. Tulifika mapema, tumetulia tunangoja tu clients wafike. I always arrive early for business, a skill I unknowingly picked up from my old man. Tommy alikuwa anataka kushika one or two beers to kill time before clients wafike, lakini nikamsho zii, business first, atashika a couple of beers after tumemalizana na clients.  Tulikuwa tunataka tu kufine tune some details kwa contract fulani tulipata ya kuweka some serious coins in our pockets with the clients ndio tusichomeke. After they arrive, tunaanza kuiron out some details with the clients, it takes a while, going back and forth, and right before I reach my breaking point to snap and maybe flip the table on them like I have see it done in the movies, the clients compromises, and agree to some of the changes we want in the contract.  Satisfied, we bid the clie...

 I’ve been quiet lately.  Not because I joined a meditation retreat in Tigoni or went offline to “find myself” in Ngong Hills. No. My situation ship had ghosted me again, and my bank balance was giving K.P.L.C. token vibes, very dark and annoying. It started on a random Saturday in my crib.  I was lying on my bed, scrolling endlessly through Twitter, laughing at people with soft lives, I decided to do something I hadn't done in a while, think. Proper thinking. Not the one where I pretend to reflect but actually just replaying movies in your head that you have previously watched. I had this deep reflection while staring at my ceiling, asking the universe the big questions after munching on three chapatis with beans  (you'll have to excuse my love for chapatis),  and then as I lay there in silence  (ok,  there were a couple of mosquitos buzzing around,  but still),  the truth knocked, and it hit me.  Accountability is not a punishment,...

                         It's a classic but with a heavy dose of notoriety within American culture considering the period it was published. You can Google or ChatGPT the controversies around it.  I had my own share of its intrigue when I first came across it, way back on campus. I still remember that encounter quite vividly like it was yesterday. There were the three of us around a table having some drinks after a difficult CAT. Sharing the table was my room mate, best friend. I will call him Y. To complete the table was X, a mutual lady friend whom I perceived to be a deep thinker.  Lying on the table was a collection of three books Y had just acquired to dilute the stress of academic reading. The first book was The Fountainhead. That's the first time I knew Ayn Rand was a lady and not a man. I can't seem to recall the second book but the top one was definitely, The Catcher in the Rye. Y was more into philosop...

             It started subtly but lately, I have been finding myself being suddenly awake at strange hours. Sometimes it may be 1:17 am, 2:43 a.m, 3:11 a.m, or even 3:57 a.m, nothing consistent.   Not because of bad dreams or the usual midnight thirst, sometimes ni ile kuamka kuenda washroom to relieve yourself, ama venye msee huturn ndio akuwe more comfortable, na feel niko observed na presence of something or someone, ilikuwa ina feel something ancient and patient had been watching me.    At first, it was innocent. I had woken up to go pee, then I felt it. Then came the second, third, and fourth night, unajipata you are awake, funny thing hata hauamki to go pee. Uko hapo kwa kitanda staring at darkness, unashangaa rada ni gani, mbona usingizi imepotea impromptu, then you feel that same presence wrap itself around the air like fog, invisible, but undeniable.    Unajaribu kufukuza uwoga, but after sometime inabidi umewasha lig...

  Lemme tell y'all something I discovered, fixing shit unlocks a good feeling in you.  A little backstory, niko kejani nimechill napanga venye siku ya kesho itakuwa. It's around 9/10 pm hapo, niko ndani ya duvet, hii baridi ni mbaya, but I'm kind of happy one ni ju Manchester imenyoroshwa, na Kenya imeweza kuingia quarter finals za Chan. Niko easy, scrolling through, checking emails, sending CVs, na proposals hapa na pale, yenye itanasa ya kwanza. Hii story ya kutafuta shillingi, eeeei inatumaliza! Nimejiambia, wacha ni scroll simu kidogo, kabla usingizi ikuje, nilale kidogo, before usingizi ipotee hapo saa name, tisa, ju ya mawazo ya venye maisha yangu imestagnate, inakuja kukuja. Kiasi kiasi, nastukia niko kwa giza!  Niko zile za Kplc hao, wameanua stima. Naamua nitoke kwa bed, niende ni connect simu kwa charger, ndio ile time stima itarudi, nitaamka asubuhi nipate simu ikiwa full charge. Nikiplug simu hivi, naona, charging. Nikajijazia kumbe ni bulb imeungua. Kuchungul...

 In my days of service I had this friend called Waswa. He was way older than me, like 3 years older but tulikua tume enlist na yeye and we found ourselves sharing a barrack cube. Tulikua 4 in 1 cube. One night while we were off duty, he told me why he joined the military. Waswa was in JKUAT, Juja campus, and he was having some sort of entanglement with his schoolmate, a pretty petite lass called Syombua.  Our boy Waswa was the one visiting her because he was in a shared hostel. Waswa’s pretty lass, Syombua, lived in Weiteithie, in a well furnished apartment. Their relationship was like 3 or 4 months old but Waswa had received all sorts of treatment. From slices to the other slices, I know you know, and if you don't, jokes on you.  Kijana in his mind assumed that the lady came from a seriously loaded family. Makosaa. Sasa one Friday Waswa as usual goes for a sleepover knowing atakula vizuri pande zote. They enjoy the night and netflix as usual until they heard, “Fungua hap...

By the way, nishawahi pendwa na wazimu wasee . Not toxic like how some of your partners in some of your relationships are, just somebody's daughter who was mentally ill. Tulieni niwapee story how it all went down. I was coming from Murang'a , nilikuwa nimetoka huko kupiga shughuli mbili tatu, as you know kwa gari kuna wale watu hubebwa mid journey, so sisi hao, tuko Kenol , gari imesimama watu kadhaa wakashuka, conductor yuko nje anaita watu wengine waiingie kwa gari to fill the empty seats.  I have my awesome earphones on, nasikia kuna fracas outside but I mind my shit so I ignore it, ju the last time niliona mtu ameleta kiherehere kwa shughuli haikuwa yake, alistukia amepigwa Kofi , mate ikatoka na curve kama shot ya Messi in his prime. Suddenly, I look up, and a fine gal catches the edge of my sight, eye contact kiasi between me and her and she smiles.  Damn a fine gal like this one? Thank you God! I remove my earphones so I can see her well. I songa songa as she comes an...

              In my existence, I have noticed some people are eating life with a big spoon, others like me, life is eating us with big spoons (read spade).  Not so many moons ago I was in a very bad fix, big brain, alot of skills but no paper evidence to match the skill so the people with money think you are a con. Anyway, I had a friend who was a donda (read conductor), I know he makes over 1500 daily because one day he told me, I asked him to link me up to one of the manyangas and he told me, “Si rahisi ni kulink  mimi stakudanganya kama wale uncle wa nyumbani  ati maliza shule nitakueka mahali.”  So he told me about kamagera ( a person who just loads people in a Matatu , and remains.) and their rowdiness. That their survival in nairobi is to be likened to the silverback against 100 men. No mercy. Nikamuuliza, because I want a fishing rod, not the fish itself so as to fend for myself.  So akaniambia you just go to any st...

              Nilikuwa pahali, before this guy, Albert Ojwang, akujiwe kushikwa na apelekwe Sayun na the stupid pigs in uniform.  May Albert Ojwang's family get justice.  Letstoriesunfold  truly empathizes with his family.  Tulikuwa tumeketi place fulani, kwa kikao. You know those kawaida catch-up vibes? There was food, drinks, at a place where the ambience is just right. Grown-up talk. Everyone just dropping life stories, big plans, a couple of throwbacks being tossed around, mini politics tukiitana,  “Hi cousin.” Tukiwa tumeisha mbaya sana, after tumelimana banters back to back. Then out of nowhere, in the middle of a chill convo about life and adulting, this beautiful petite lady — calm voice, radiant smile — anasema,   “By the way,  2010 nilikuwa Class One.” Kila kitu ilisimama. Sips stopped mid-air. Laughter froze. Someone even coughed in shock.   CLASS ONE?  2010? Nikachora quick mental math...