Nòî

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On another episode of: things that never happened, or did they? Saturday or Sunday, many many many moons ago. I used to go to the bafu na towel pekee always wondering how women always walked around in skirts. So after showering it was free mode mpaka kejani. Kwa buloti, it was a communal bathroom so you had to carry your bucket. Na ukipata mtu yuko ndani, unapanga laini. On this particular day nilikuwa nimechemsha maji niko ready kuingia kwa bafu, jirani beat me to the bathroom by seconds. I left my bucket full of warm water hapo nikiwa frustrated then nikaingia kejani kutime akitoka, naruka ndani. Asubuhi gets chilly so you can't just hang around there waiting ukiwa kifua iko nje, umejifunga towel pekee. Akamaliza nikaskia mlango yake imefunga, nikakimbia bafu fasta fasta maji yangu isipoe, ingepoa ingekuwa balaa. Kumbe she was not yet done, alikua ameacha karai yake na maji hapo ndani arudi kuosha kifuniko. Mimi naye nokatoa hio basin nje nikaingia kwa bafu, this is not ...

Baby mama.

I had just bailed out one of my Gs, yobiz, out of the government “air bnb.” If you know you know, if you don't, well you can forget about it. The way he kept thanking me after I had got him out, if I was a lady, I could have died from that overdose of appreciation and attention, but hey, who am I to talk. 

Anyway, I just had to laugh at him at how silly he looked. He looked disheveled, with just one croc on his foot, his socks muddy, and his t-shirt stretched like that of a lactating mother.

He was still paranoid of his surroundings and he was adamant to tell me how it all went down on the way, till we reached his place he said that's when and where he will tell me.  I didn't push it, so we continued on our way so that he could tell me the story and hopefully we could brainstorm on some other important issues like, how are we going to negotiate with clients in order to clinch the next deal?

I waited until he freshened up, then got some coffee in him first before I then asked him to tell me what happened. He started with two words , baby mama, then paused for a bit. Then yours truly prodded further by asking him, 

“mgani champ?”


He laughed, hitting me back with, 

“Kiongoz kwani umenitambua aje?”

I told him to stop playing and get on with the story. As if on cue, an advert started playing on the Tv, interrupting the series I was watching. The advert seemed interesting, not like the annoying Juicy fruit ad so we focused our attention on it to see how it played out.

The advert starts out it's during an afternoon, a man is doing awesome tricks on the pool table with the white ball. The trick of the man is that he makes the white ball ping on almost every corner of the pool table, and just as it's about to hit the far right corner of the pool table and return back to him, a boy comes out of nowhere, grabs the ball, and returns it to the man the audience is led to believe is the father of the boy. Then the advert ends with just one word, Durex.

The advert is impressive no doubt, my G was sly though, he had used the advert as a distraction to escape telling me how and why he got arrested. As soon, as I asked him again to tell me what went down, he just hit me with, 

“Kiongoz, iza joh but story sikusho

zingatia tu hio Ad, 

baby mama uuuui 

taabu tu.”


I ain't one to nag, and I wasn't going to start then, so I dropped it. He then told me he had a few ideas he wanted us to discuss how we are going to close the deal with the prospective clients.

Comments

  1. Sasa ni hivyo kamededi? 😂😂😂Why is baby boy mean 😂😂😂

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  2. Hii ya leo sijarada sana but keep up with the good work 👍

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  3. Baby mamaaaa eeeish

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  4. Baaana... Hii ni kama ile story ya kichwa tu..... Haitoshi.... Malizia bana curiousity inaua ������

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  5. Baby mama issues huh...😂😂

    ReplyDelete

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