Shimonjero

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  You know those times unasikia ni kama unachizi? Umepanga vitu zako vizuri, from A-Z then everything decides to go tits up kama mende imededi? So recently I was in such a bubble, naona tu Dim.  Nikasema sitachizi niliona, wacha I go see my hombre, Tommie, pale Kach. It's very peaceful place btw. After the first day, we are beating stories after kumaliza shughuli mbili tatu, nothing major, just enough to feel productive without actually being productive.  Out of nowhere, Tommie leans in like he’s about to reveal state secrets. “Btw nilikuwa na mpango na fulani na yule jirani  nilikuwa nataka tupangane.  Si tufike hivyo?” We pull up to Jirani's compound, and the first thing we see? Two cocks. Full chest out. Feathers flying. Pride on the line. These roosters were not playing. This wasn’t a disagreement, this was generational beef. You could tell one of them had been waiting for this moment since childhood. Jamaa sees us and instead of greeting like a normal human...

Baby mama.

I had just bailed out one of my Gs, yobiz, out of the government “air bnb.” If you know you know, if you don't, well you can forget about it. The way he kept thanking me after I had got him out, if I was a lady, I could have died from that overdose of appreciation and attention, but hey, who am I to talk. 

Anyway, I just had to laugh at him at how silly he looked. He looked disheveled, with just one croc on his foot, his socks muddy, and his t-shirt stretched like that of a lactating mother.

He was still paranoid of his surroundings and he was adamant to tell me how it all went down on the way, till we reached his place he said that's when and where he will tell me.  I didn't push it, so we continued on our way so that he could tell me the story and hopefully we could brainstorm on some other important issues like, how are we going to negotiate with clients in order to clinch the next deal?

I waited until he freshened up, then got some coffee in him first before I then asked him to tell me what happened. He started with two words , baby mama, then paused for a bit. Then yours truly prodded further by asking him, 

“mgani champ?”


He laughed, hitting me back with, 

“Kiongoz kwani umenitambua aje?”

I told him to stop playing and get on with the story. As if on cue, an advert started playing on the Tv, interrupting the series I was watching. The advert seemed interesting, not like the annoying Juicy fruit ad so we focused our attention on it to see how it played out.

The advert starts out it's during an afternoon, a man is doing awesome tricks on the pool table with the white ball. The trick of the man is that he makes the white ball ping on almost every corner of the pool table, and just as it's about to hit the far right corner of the pool table and return back to him, a boy comes out of nowhere, grabs the ball, and returns it to the man the audience is led to believe is the father of the boy. Then the advert ends with just one word, Durex.

The advert is impressive no doubt, my G was sly though, he had used the advert as a distraction to escape telling me how and why he got arrested. As soon, as I asked him again to tell me what went down, he just hit me with, 

“Kiongoz, iza joh but story sikusho

zingatia tu hio Ad, 

baby mama uuuui 

taabu tu.”


I ain't one to nag, and I wasn't going to start then, so I dropped it. He then told me he had a few ideas he wanted us to discuss how we are going to close the deal with the prospective clients.

Comments

  1. Sasa ni hivyo kamededi? 😂😂😂Why is baby boy mean 😂😂😂

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  2. Hii ya leo sijarada sana but keep up with the good work 👍

    ReplyDelete
  3. Baby mamaaaa eeeish

    ReplyDelete
  4. Baaana... Hii ni kama ile story ya kichwa tu..... Haitoshi.... Malizia bana curiousity inaua ������

    ReplyDelete
  5. Baby mama issues huh...😂😂

    ReplyDelete

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