Mwili mpya...

“We are fucked!” 

Tommie stared at the gas cylinder as if it had personally betrayed him.

“Gas inaumua iishe sahii?

Fuck!

Sina job, 

pesa ndio hii imeamua kuingia witness protection.”

His wife, Mary, was sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling through her phone with the kind of concentration usually reserved for presidential results.

“Babe, 

si unawarm ile maharagwe ya juzi?”

Tommie turned slowly.

“Those beans?”

Mary nodded.

“The same beans zimekaa kwa fridge tangu juzi?”

“Tommie…”

“Mary, hizo beans ziko na history. 

Juzi ndio zilikuwa beans. 

Leo ni story ingine.”

Mary sighed.

“Ju gas imeisha, 

tunatupa hizo beans tulale njaa ama turisk?”

Tommie closed the fridge because when he had opened the fridge to take out the beans to warm, a funny smell escaped.

“Pasi lazima aniconfirmie kitu.”

“What?”

“Kwamba binguni tunapewa mwili mpya.”

Mary laughed despite herself.

“Why?”

“Because hii yangu imechoka.

Imeishiwa nguvu. 

Sasa ju ya njaa, inataka kula beans ambazo hata Mungu mwenyewe anakuwa na dilemma. 

Akijaribu kukuleta mbinguni, ngori, akikuteremsha huko kwingine, ngori. ”

Mary burst out laughing. Tommie was not joking. Having been unemployed for close to eleven months, it hadn't been easy. His phone had become an expensive calculator, his CV had been sent to so many companies that even his email account seemed tired of rejection messages. That evening, however, something strange happened. 

As Tommie was warming the suspicious beans using a gas borrowed from their neighbour, whom Tommie somehow suspected might be secretly supplying his woman electricity without an iota of blackout, his phone rang out of the blues.

“Hello?”

“Tommie?”

“Yes.”

“It's Tj.”

Tommie froze.

“Tj?”

“I've been praying for you.”

Tommie looked lost for a moment. 

“Tj, 

don't play with me, 

tangu lini ukaanza kuomba? 

There was silence. Then Tj laughed.

“No, seriously. 

Come to my office tomorrow morning. 

I have something for you.”

Tommie's heart jumped.

“Something?”

“Yes.”

“Money?”

Another silence.

“Come tomorrow.”

Tommie hung up. Mary looked at him.

“What did he say?”

Tommie smiled.

“Tomorrow, apparently, my life changes.”

Mary pointed at the beans.

“Good, 

because tonight our lives might end.”

They both laughed. The next morning, Tommie arrived very early at Tj’s office. Tj called him into the office. On the desk was an envelope. Tommie stared at it blankly, unsure of what to do next

“Tj…”

“Open it.”

Tommie slowly opened the envelope. Inside was a handwritten letter, and a business card. Tj smiled.

“I told someone about you. 

He's looking for an assistant at his company. 

The job starts on Wednesday.”

Tommie stared at the card. For a moment, he couldn't speak. Then he looked at Tj.

“So… 

kuhusu hiyo body mpya ya heaven…”

Tj laughed. Tommie smiled, stood up, and slowly walked out of Tj’s office holding the business card like it was a winning lottery ticket. Mary called him as soon as he was outside.

“Umepata nini?”

Tommie grinned.

“Job.”

Silence. 

Then Mary screamed so loudly that two people outside Tj’s office turned to look. After what seemed like an eternity, Mary contained herself and asked, 

“na hizo beans tulikula jana?”

“Kidogo zitupeleke Sayuni after tumewacha tumelipua ploti ka Afghanistan.”

Then he added:

“Venye niliamka nikapata tumbo yako imefura ni ka uko karibu kuzaa.”

Tommie hangup the call ju aliona call ikiendelea Mary anaweza kuwa excited tena, apige nduru, aanze job akiwa deaf. Tommie laughed and looked towards the horizon, and reflected on how for the first time in eleven months, the stress levels that came with checking his M-Pesa balance afterward might reduce significantly.