Butwaa! 2

Any mlevi reading this knows that hio mkojo ndio ime hold back kuzima ziii. So Liz takes her to a nearby washroom, and when she comes back, her legs seem to have forgotten their function, you know, like holding the body weight and supporting locomotion. Miguu zake ziko jelly jelly. So she just says,  "ebu mnishikilie kiasi"  That, my friends, was the last time I saw her standing. Her eyes shut, her mouth failed the speaking test, and she just fell into our hands. Visiting hours zimeisha, amevaa uniform, tuko in a location civilian hawafai kukuwa. Trouble was brewing like the water we just drank. We tell Liz juu pia yeye ako na uniform aende akuje na help as we try to make her vomit and pour water on her. Waapi!  Liz alienda na simu yake and the clothes we had brought. Mpaka leo 11 years later hajawai rudi. We are there for 30 mins and catch the radar: civilians on government land. A whistle is blown, and close to 40 officers are on scene in a minute. Zilishuka mpaka nikak...

Wasee wametulia


Nilikuwa place hustle, kutafuta shillingi nisiiname lunch ka comrades, ama kuwa homeless ju mwenye nyumba ameweka kufuli ingine kubwa ka sex drive ya dame yuko twenty something. 

Ilikuwa story zinatembea tu, bila pressure tukiendelea na job yetu, masaa ikisonga mbele tu. Sikumbuki ni part gani exactly kwa hio story ilifanya ni remark,

“Kama kuna watu nimetense,”

“ni wasee wao hukuwa wametulia tu.”


They were like, 


Souley wacha kutubeba utoto.

Mbona uogope mtu hana makelele ama kisirani?


Niliwaelewa wakifikiria na kuuliza hivyo. Nikawachapia incidences kadhaa zenye wasee hawana mambo mingi wamesurprise wasee vi ajab. 

Wasione ni ka nawasho story haziko, ka excuses za ule manzi uko nayo akitwekwa na salaried niggas mshahara ya end month wakiwa nayo.

Kuna this time, tuko lap mtaa ya Boyz wetu fulani. Wasee fulani wakaamua ni sisi watatutumia kuchase the bag. Kutuibia in layman’s terms. Wamekuja wanatugotea then wako zile za 

hizo phone na dooh tuko nazo tuwawahi. 

Tukawaignore tukasonga mbele na ziara yetu. Hao wasee kuona hatuna masaa yao, si hasira zao zikachemka wakaskuma arif ndio vita ianze.



Arif alibackstep tu, akavuta kofi ingine strong ka finishing ya Eliud Kipchoge kwa mmoja ya hao wasee walimskuma, ikawacha imprint ya mkono yake. Huyo msee akakuwa unconscious na kuanguka puuf! ka bei ya simiti. 

Wasee kuona venye kumegeuka kwa mwenzao wakajipea shughuli mbio na sisi tukaendelea kuchapa lap as if nothing happened.

Mimi naye nilikuwa zile , is this guy really human? ka venye keeper wa Copenhagen alikuwa ana wonder out loud kwa Jack Grealish akirefer to Haaland. 

As if kushow chenye nawasho si story za jaba, I came across this story of this guy, American, who seduces you, fucks you, kills and eats you. 

Naweza sema he’s another version of Onyancha.

The only twist to this is that, one, he is gay like that dude from Sauti Sol, what’s his name, Chimano.  Two, he prepares his victim’s flesh, doesn’t eat it raw like Onyancha. Ana marinate hio nyama nakuambia ka venye madem wenyu wana marinatiwa Loft. Anaiprepare like some high quality chef.


I kid you not, seeing this guy you could bet your soul, your lung, liver and any precious thing you have, he can’t kill a chicken let alone a human. Hapa huwezi ukaniconvince otherwise, watu wametulia, mimi huwaonea 18, nikiwa rada yao mbaya.



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Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

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