Shimonjero

Image
  You know those times unasikia ni kama unachizi? Umepanga vitu zako vizuri, from A-Z then everything decides to go tits up kama mende imededi? So recently I was in such a bubble, naona tu Dim.  Nikasema sitachizi niliona, wacha I go see my hombre, Tommie, pale Kach. It's very peaceful place btw. After the first day, we are beating stories after kumaliza shughuli mbili tatu, nothing major, just enough to feel productive without actually being productive.  Out of nowhere, Tommie leans in like he’s about to reveal state secrets. “Btw nilikuwa na mpango na fulani na yule jirani  nilikuwa nataka tupangane.  Si tufike hivyo?” We pull up to Jirani's compound, and the first thing we see? Two cocks. Full chest out. Feathers flying. Pride on the line. These roosters were not playing. This wasn’t a disagreement, this was generational beef. You could tell one of them had been waiting for this moment since childhood. Jamaa sees us and instead of greeting like a normal human...

Wasee wametulia


Nilikuwa place hustle, kutafuta shillingi nisiiname lunch ka comrades, ama kuwa homeless ju mwenye nyumba ameweka kufuli ingine kubwa ka sex drive ya dame yuko twenty something. 

Ilikuwa story zinatembea tu, bila pressure tukiendelea na job yetu, masaa ikisonga mbele tu. Sikumbuki ni part gani exactly kwa hio story ilifanya ni remark,

“Kama kuna watu nimetense,”

“ni wasee wao hukuwa wametulia tu.”


They were like, 


Souley wacha kutubeba utoto.

Mbona uogope mtu hana makelele ama kisirani?


Niliwaelewa wakifikiria na kuuliza hivyo. Nikawachapia incidences kadhaa zenye wasee hawana mambo mingi wamesurprise wasee vi ajab. 

Wasione ni ka nawasho story haziko, ka excuses za ule manzi uko nayo akitwekwa na salaried niggas mshahara ya end month wakiwa nayo.

Kuna this time, tuko lap mtaa ya Boyz wetu fulani. Wasee fulani wakaamua ni sisi watatutumia kuchase the bag. Kutuibia in layman’s terms. Wamekuja wanatugotea then wako zile za 

hizo phone na dooh tuko nazo tuwawahi. 

Tukawaignore tukasonga mbele na ziara yetu. Hao wasee kuona hatuna masaa yao, si hasira zao zikachemka wakaskuma arif ndio vita ianze.



Arif alibackstep tu, akavuta kofi ingine strong ka finishing ya Eliud Kipchoge kwa mmoja ya hao wasee walimskuma, ikawacha imprint ya mkono yake. Huyo msee akakuwa unconscious na kuanguka puuf! ka bei ya simiti. 

Wasee kuona venye kumegeuka kwa mwenzao wakajipea shughuli mbio na sisi tukaendelea kuchapa lap as if nothing happened.

Mimi naye nilikuwa zile , is this guy really human? ka venye keeper wa Copenhagen alikuwa ana wonder out loud kwa Jack Grealish akirefer to Haaland. 

As if kushow chenye nawasho si story za jaba, I came across this story of this guy, American, who seduces you, fucks you, kills and eats you. 

Naweza sema he’s another version of Onyancha.

The only twist to this is that, one, he is gay like that dude from Sauti Sol, what’s his name, Chimano.  Two, he prepares his victim’s flesh, doesn’t eat it raw like Onyancha. Ana marinate hio nyama nakuambia ka venye madem wenyu wana marinatiwa Loft. Anaiprepare like some high quality chef.


I kid you not, seeing this guy you could bet your soul, your lung, liver and any precious thing you have, he can’t kill a chicken let alone a human. Hapa huwezi ukaniconvince otherwise, watu wametulia, mimi huwaonea 18, nikiwa rada yao mbaya.



Comments

Post a Comment

Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

Popular posts from this blog

Death at a funeral, the interrogation.

Cloud 9 , what's next?

Back to the basics.

Miss Anonymous 2