Take me back.

-
Image
              A couple of months back, nilikuwa nimeenda place fulani shughuli na one of my boyz, Tommy, tulikuwa Whistling Moran I think. Tulifika mapema, tumetulia tunangoja tu clients wafike. I always arrive early for business, a skill I unknowingly picked up from my old man. Tommy alikuwa anataka kushika one or two beers to kill time before clients wafike, lakini nikamsho zii, business first, atashika a couple of beers after tumemalizana na clients.  Tulikuwa tunataka tu kufine tune some details kwa contract fulani tulipata ya kuweka some serious coins in our pockets with the clients ndio tusichomeke. After they arrive, tunaanza kuiron out some details with the clients, it takes a while, going back and forth, and right before I reach my breaking point to snap and maybe flip the table on them like I have see it done in the movies, the clients compromises, and agree to some of the changes we want in the contract.  Satisfied, we bid the clie...
Post a Comment

Waswa

-

 In my days of service I had this friend called Waswa. He was way older than me, like 3 years older but tulikua tume enlist na yeye and we found ourselves sharing a barrack cube. Tulikua 4 in 1 cube. One night while we were off duty, he told me why he joined the military. Waswa was in JKUAT, Juja campus, and he was having some sort of entanglement with his schoolmate, a pretty petite lass called Syombua. 


Our boy Waswa was the one visiting her because he was in a shared hostel. Waswa’s pretty lass, Syombua, lived in Weiteithie, in a well furnished apartment. Their relationship was like 3 or 4 months old but Waswa had received all sorts of treatment. From slices to the other slices, I know you know, and if you don't, jokes on you. 


Kijana in his mind assumed that the lady came from a seriously loaded family. Makosaa. Sasa one Friday Waswa as usual goes for a sleepover knowing atakula vizuri pande zote. They enjoy the night and netflix as usual until they heard,


“Fungua hapa Syombua, 

nakupigia simu yako haichukuliwi”


were the words that awoke them from their slumber while cuddling. Waswa wanted to shout back, 


“hii mapema yote buana!

Mbona unapigia wapendanao kelele?”


Syombua stopped him from opening the door and told him, huyo ndio boyfriend wake na watapigwa mbaya sana. The gal was shivering kama mtu hajavaa warm Limuru, hata anashindwa kuvaa nguo. Waswa hajui nani yuko hapo nje, in his mind anadhani wanaeza pigana ahepe. 


Makosa.


The man outside ran out of patience and threatened to shoot the door open. Hapo ndio Waswa alijua kumbe mwenye yuko hapo nje yuko na gun. Balls zilirudi kwa tumbo, sauti ikapotea, nywele zikasimama, minyoo zikanyamaza. 




Kidogo, our boy Waswa, had even started imagining his eulogy. Syombua opened the door at last.


“Eeh eeh eeh ehh 

we ni nani kwa nyumba yangu? 

 mbona huna nguo?”


The guy was 6 feet tall and 4 feet wide, with a face only a mother can love, na alikuwa amejaa kwa mlango hata sunrise yenyewe haiingii. 




He turned and closed the door. Hehehe smack down Waswa alikuwa anaona tu flying kicks zikiendea dem then yeye anakanyagwa shingo akiwekelewa madondi. Kijana begged for his life akasahau alikuwa anaambia dem vile atamprotect. Kama ushawahi ona military boots sasa imagine unakanyagwa nayo. 


Waswa was stripped down to his boxer and frogmarched mpaka stage. Mambo ya Syombua sijui but ni kama aliona moto. Waswa alipata nguo from well wishers. Akachukua the next vehicle kuenda home and never went to school again. 


Fear humans‼️

Comments

Post a Comment

Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

Popular posts from this blog

Death at a funeral, the interrogation.

-
Image
Continued from..   Death at a funeral I’m no wolverine who could heal quickly from a stab wound so I didn’t want to take my chances with the knife. As the rough and husky man directed me on where to go, I noticed it was like time had stood still, with chaos beautifully painted. I explored my choices on how to get out of this predicament, and boy! They didn’t look at all great, most of them all pointed to one end result, 6ft under. Except one, I was to act a fool. That is what I went with, to buy myself some time to figure how to get out of this ordeal and never have to look over my shoulder or be paranoid when I’m with someone’s daughter wondering, is she the means they have used to get to me?  Ever heard of the Samson and Delilah story? We reach at the car, at the very end of the field. A black Chevy, beautiful with a sleek paint job and design, and the door pops open. “Utleast you idiots have class,” is the last thing I say before I’m roughly shoved in, the rough and husky...
Continue...

Cloud 9 , what's next?

-
Image
Then she melted into the crowd. She took a while then nikacheki kuna dame yuko solo kwa corner nikasema nifike hivyo nimpee company. Huyo dame alinisho anaitwa Alicia.  Kuendelea kubonga nikarealize kumbe alikuwa anaogopa. Alikuwa ametag along na friend yake ndio asiboeke kwa hao akiwa pekee yake.  Nikamweka at ease na convo ingine fiti sana akanijenga no incase tupoteanwe tutafutana then we talked some more then Steph akatokea.  Akacheka then akaniita nimfuate. Madem na wivu bana  😂😂  Steph aliona ana compe.. Mimi huyo nikidhani Steph amepata plug wa sth sth iko na sweet aroma tufike cloud nine nayo.  Kufika to some secluded place anatoa some pills. Kumuuliza ni nini ananichapia ati molly. Akaextend mkono anipitishie nikakataa. “Shauri yako”   akasema then akameza.After a while niliona ameanza kuwa handsy.. “Huyu anataka ku unleash the beast”  Nilijiuliza kimoyomoyo.Kiasi kiasi nacheki mjamaa akikam ile corner tulikuwa. Nikajua baaas.. Huyu ni...
Continue...

Back to the basics.

-
Image
Nimeona picture kwa meme fulani, ikanipeleka tour down memory lane. Many moons ago, nikiwa primary. Nikitaja ilikuwa how many years ago, mtaniona ka mmoja wa wale wahenga mlikuwa mnaandika kwa kwa insha, ati, wahenga hawakupaka mafuta kwa mgongo wa chupa waliponena... 😅😅😅 Kulikuwa na hii stuff ilikuwa primary, ndio ukuwe unaongea kizungu, ulikuwa unakuwa punished psychologically ukiongea na mother tongue, kiswahili or the language of the streets, sheng. Except siku moja yenye mngekuwa exempted kuongea whichever language you fancy. Mental punishment depended on which time era you were in. For yours truly, ilikuwa kuvaa bling bling ya mfupa ingine kubwa. Yours truly, hajaanza kupiga story sahii, like B.I.G. nilikuwa notorious but upande wa kuongea. Hakuna siku nikiwahi kosa kwa list ya noisemakers, na siku sikuwa nimeongea labda nilikuwa mgonjwa. Most people walikuwa wana detest kuvaa hio bling bling, ju ya aibu ilikuwa associated with it, so msee alikuwa anakuwekea mtego, uongee tu l...
Continue...

Miss Anonymous 2

-
Image
  Continued from here-->>  Miss Anonymous Ju ya kuwa street smart kiasi tu, niliweza kutoka kuwa mgeni wa serikali bila kesi kuwa ngori. Vile natoka though, weeeh! Nanuka, niko mchafu, usingizi, kitu nataka ni kufika tu kejani nioge, nipite kwa mathe nikule, nilale. Nafika hivi ploti, watoto wa jirani wakinicheki wanahepa tu wakilia, kwani nakaa mnyama nini? Wamama wa ploti, najua wameshapata story mpya na mimi, but haidhuru, watabonga kisha watalala. Venye nimeshiba, napiga shower nitoe stench na misuli inyooke kidogo kisha nalala. Nastukia mlango inabishwa, kuangalia saa ni saa kumi na moja jioni. Weeh, nimelala kama maiti za pale Chiromo.😅 Kumbe ni arif yangu Timo, na venye nilikuwa nimejitayarisha na maneno nikidhani ni landlord. 😅😅 Namfungulia mlango aingie, but anaingia akiniuliza nimepotelea wapi, ati amekuwa akinitafuta siku kadhaa.  Nikienda kuona venye nitamjibu, ghafla bin vuu, simu inalia. Kuenda kucheki ni nani anapiga, nastukia ni ule Miss Anonymous...
Continue...