Mwili mpya...

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“We are fucked!”  Tommie stared at the gas cylinder as if it had personally betrayed him. “Gas inaumua iishe sahii? Fuck! Sina job,  pesa ndio hii imeamua kuingia witness protection.” His wife, Mary, was sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling through her phone with the kind of concentration usually reserved for presidential results. “Babe,  si unawarm ile maharagwe ya juzi?” Tommie turned slowly. “Those beans?” Mary nodded. “The same beans zimekaa kwa fridge tangu juzi?” “Tommie…” “Mary, hizo beans ziko na history.  Juzi ndio zilikuwa beans.  Leo ni story ingine.” Mary sighed. “Ju gas imeisha,  tunatupa hizo beans tulale njaa ama turisk?” Tommie closed the fridge because when he had opened the fridge to take out the beans to warm, a funny smell escaped. “Pasi lazima aniconfirmie kitu.” “What?” “Kwamba binguni tunapewa mwili mpya.” Mary laughed despite herself. “Why?” “Because hii yangu imechoka. Imeishiwa nguvu.  Sasa ju ya njaa, inataka kula beans ...

Handy man

 

Lemme tell y'all something I discovered,

fixing shit unlocks a good feeling in you. 


A little backstory, niko kejani nimechill napanga venye siku ya kesho itakuwa. It's around 9/10 pm hapo, niko ndani ya duvet, hii baridi ni mbaya, but I'm kind of happy one ni ju Manchester imenyoroshwa, na Kenya imeweza kuingia quarter finals za Chan.


Niko easy, scrolling through, checking emails, sending CVs, na proposals hapa na pale, yenye itanasa ya kwanza. Hii story ya kutafuta shillingi, eeeei inatumaliza! Nimejiambia, wacha ni scroll simu kidogo, kabla usingizi ikuje, nilale kidogo, before usingizi ipotee hapo saa name, tisa, ju ya mawazo ya venye maisha yangu imestagnate, inakuja kukuja. Kiasi kiasi, nastukia niko kwa giza! 




Niko zile za Kplc hao, wameanua stima. Naamua nitoke kwa bed, niende ni connect simu kwa charger, ndio ile time stima itarudi, nitaamka asubuhi nipate simu ikiwa full charge. Nikiplug simu hivi, naona, charging. Nikajijazia kumbe ni bulb imeungua. Kuchungulia Mpesa, naona inachezea titration figures, nikajiambia kesho nikiwahi pahali, nipate dooh, nitapitia kwa shop nikikuja na bulb ingine. 


After nimeset alarm ya kuamka kesho ngware, na nikaplug simu ina charge, mimi huyo, kwa duvet. Next morning, naamka, kushower, kubahatisha ka utapata shillingi. Kwa bahati mzuri, I get something to earn me some coins hapa na pale for a few days, nilibuy bulb on day one, but design naingia kejani nikiwa nimebeat, naingia kejani kama nimekula, naoga, then nalala, hadi nguvu ya kuscroll simu hakuna. 


Hii kazi ya freelancing, kuna siku zinafika hauna kazi kabsaa! After a busy few days, nikaukiwa pande yangu, nikakumbuka hayaa, nafaa kuchange bulb. Kutoa bulb yenye ilikuwa nikaweka yenye nilikuwa nimebuy, kuweka on, hayaa! Pia hio haiwaki. Nikajiuliza sasa hii ni mambo gani. Sasa ni kuanza kupiga hesabu ya pesa ya kuita fundi, na ya bulb holder yenye sikuwa nimepangia.


Leo nimesema, wacha niangalie hii maneno nini mbaya nayo, ndio hata fundi akikuja asione nikikuwa green asiniitishe pesa itafanya ni faint niende niongezwe maji Kenyatta. 




Mimi huyo nimezima main switch, mimi hapana taka mchezo na stima. So nimechukua stool nikapanda niangalie nini mbaya na hii bulb holder. 


Kutoa bulb hivi, one of the screws ina anguka, turns out, ni one of the screws huko ndani ilikuwa loose. Nikasema wacha nitoke nipige lap, nitafute pahali naweza pata star shaped screwdriver, niulizie ni pesa ngapi ninunue, nikuje nayo nione kama naweza rudisha hio screw.





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