What if?

       

The day before writing this, I had a bad day. Wacha ni rewind kidogo, before I had the bad day, nilikuwa najiwaza nikijiuliza ni wapi nitatoa pesa ya kufanya ma one two three. Kiasi kiasi, around 3 or 4 hapo, in the afternoon, naona simu ikilia. In case you didn't know, zile times uko in the pits of hell, in the dark, struggling to find the way out, ndio simu huwa hailii kabsaa. 

I won't lie, simu venye ililia ilinistua kidogo, ju sikuwa na expect any call from anyone, moreso at that time. Ilikuwa a new number, sijawahi lenga kuchukua new number ju huwezi jua who might be trying to reach you with a strangers phone, inaweza kuwa opportunity, inaweza kuwa fahm or Boyz wako yuko kwa ngori, you never know. 

Venye nilichukua, nilikuwa nadhani ni vijana wa mulot wamepiga kunijaribu Imani, but I held my tongue, and waited for the person on the other end to speak.

“Hello, 

naongea na fulani?”

I was there wondering huyu ni nani ananijua na simjui, na hio sauti hasikiki ikiwa familiar! I wanted to know how the person knew me, so I said yes, and the person continued after introducing themselves.

“You had submitted your resume sometime back, 

and 

I wanted to invite you for an interview tomorrow.

Are you available?”

I said yes, and they proceeded to send me a location for the interview, and the time I was expected to avail myself. After the call, nikaona kumbe light at the end of the tunnel imeanza kuwaka, ni kama Kplc kurudisha stima after mvua kuisha. After the initial excitement kuisha ndio ikanihit.

Kuangalia Mpesa, inachezea titration figures, na mfuko ni dust ka ya ile simps huoneshwa na watu hawawapendi. What do I do? I make a few calls here and there kupata a few notes za ku facilitate transport to and fro the place where the interview was to take place. Luckily a few of those calls here and there paid of, na nikapata monies za kuweza kuenda interview the next day.

The next day ni kurauka, sikutaka zile swara ya time umechelewa, ndio gari inaingia petrol station kunywa mafuta, kupata puncture, inashikwa, ama dere ndio hio time tumbo yake inaleta nuksi inabidi aweke gari either petrol station ama hoteli aingie pahali ajisaidie tumbo itulie.

Nikafika interview vizuri, nikaweka my best foot forward. After interview, before nitoke, hawa hawakuwa wale wa wait for our call, waliniambia hapo hapo sikuwahi. I thanked them, and left. 

Nikajiambia ju hii shughuli moja imeenda na upepo, wacha nichungulie pahali fulani nilikuwa nimerusha proposal nione hali yake. Weeeh, kuchungulia tu hivi, pia hio nikapata inaungua. 

The following morning after, napitia status za watu, ju the previous day ilinimaliza tu nguvu na psych nikapata one of my Boyz ameweka status, “What if?”, and it got me thinking.

What if sikurauka kuenda hio interview? What if niliogopa kutake chance ya kurusha proposal pahali iliungua? What if sikufanya this or that? 

If I had a shilling for every what if scenario that crossed my mind at that time, I would be having a net worth rivaling that of the late Chris Kirubi. I thought for a while contemplating, then it hit me. 

All those what ifs if I hadn't attempted any, sahii ningekuwa na regret ya what if ningejaribu iivane? That regret is more shitty, than the previous day prior to posting this story was.