Damn!

Image
              Nilikuwa pahali, before this guy, Albert Ojwang, akujiwe kushikwa na apelekwe Sayun na the stupid pigs in uniform.  May Albert Ojwang's family get justice.  Letstoriesunfold  truly empathizes with his family.  Tulikuwa tumeketi place fulani, kwa kikao. You know those kawaida catch-up vibes? There was food, drinks, at a place where the ambience is just right. Grown-up talk. Everyone just dropping life stories, big plans, a couple of throwbacks being tossed around, mini politics tukiitana,  “Hi cousin.” Tukiwa tumeisha mbaya sana, after tumelimana banters back to back. Then out of nowhere, in the middle of a chill convo about life and adulting, this beautiful petite lady — calm voice, radiant smile — anasema,   “By the way,  2010 nilikuwa Class One.” Kila kitu ilisimama. Sips stopped mid-air. Laughter froze. Someone even coughed in shock.   CLASS ONE?  2010? Nikachora quick mental math...

The undertaker.


I have told lots of stories, and I have heard lot's of stories over the years, but none could prepare me for this story I am about to tell you. 

First I'll have to ask you, 

which is most bizarre job or contact, 

you have ever done,

for money?

To most people, I am the guy who has been in some crazy hustles, but compared to my guy, Kinyanjui, that is just a tiny handful of some sand to a whole beach. I don't think there's a hustle in this world that Kinyanjui hasn't been to. 

If it isn't washing old people's bums, he's out there brokering property, trading stocks, professional mourner, eating contests, extras in Kenyan movies, in corporate tenders, let me pause it at that because the list is quite endless.

We were chilling one lovely Saturday, as you well might know Saturday is for the boys. Banters against who's team was thrashed and is likely to be thrashed on the weekend, then the conversation shifted to crazy shit people have done, guess who was at the centre of the entire conversation? Kinyanjui! 

One of my buddies, Bruno, in between the fits of laughter asked Kinyanjui, 

“Is there anything in this world, 

you haven't done?”


 That's when Kinyanjui casually said that at some point he has even worked at a mortuary, receiving, preparing and dispatching the dead bodies for burial. Immediately he said that, we were left, intrigued and much as we knew Kinyanjui was up for any job that he got a few coins, this came as a shock to us, plus the way he casually said it, like someone saying, 

“huwa napika mandazi.”

There were a few questions after he said that, like how did he land the job, has something peculiar happened while he was on the job, did the job change his perceptive in life, how did he handle bereaved family and friends? 

He held his hand up, to signal to us, to put a pause on the questions for a bit, because what he just said caused him to open up a whole Pandora's box of questions. There was uneasy silence, followed by each one of us sipping some whiskey or gin or whatever the person preferred, plus making himself comfortable in order not to miss anything that Kinyanjui was going to say.

He leaned forward, and asked us, 

“do really want to know?”

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Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

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