Take me back.

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              A couple of months back, nilikuwa nimeenda place fulani shughuli na one of my boyz, Tommy, tulikuwa Whistling Moran I think. Tulifika mapema, tumetulia tunangoja tu clients wafike. I always arrive early for business, a skill I unknowingly picked up from my old man. Tommy alikuwa anataka kushika one or two beers to kill time before clients wafike, lakini nikamsho zii, business first, atashika a couple of beers after tumemalizana na clients.  Tulikuwa tunataka tu kufine tune some details kwa contract fulani tulipata ya kuweka some serious coins in our pockets with the clients ndio tusichomeke. After they arrive, tunaanza kuiron out some details with the clients, it takes a while, going back and forth, and right before I reach my breaking point to snap and maybe flip the table on them like I have see it done in the movies, the clients compromises, and agree to some of the changes we want in the contract.  Satisfied, we bid the clie...

The undertaker.


I have told lots of stories, and I have heard lot's of stories over the years, but none could prepare me for this story I am about to tell you. 

First I'll have to ask you, 

which is most bizarre job or contact, 

you have ever done,

for money?

To most people, I am the guy who has been in some crazy hustles, but compared to my guy, Kinyanjui, that is just a tiny handful of some sand to a whole beach. I don't think there's a hustle in this world that Kinyanjui hasn't been to. 

If it isn't washing old people's bums, he's out there brokering property, trading stocks, professional mourner, eating contests, extras in Kenyan movies, in corporate tenders, let me pause it at that because the list is quite endless.

We were chilling one lovely Saturday, as you well might know Saturday is for the boys. Banters against who's team was thrashed and is likely to be thrashed on the weekend, then the conversation shifted to crazy shit people have done, guess who was at the centre of the entire conversation? Kinyanjui! 

One of my buddies, Bruno, in between the fits of laughter asked Kinyanjui, 

“Is there anything in this world, 

you haven't done?”


 That's when Kinyanjui casually said that at some point he has even worked at a mortuary, receiving, preparing and dispatching the dead bodies for burial. Immediately he said that, we were left, intrigued and much as we knew Kinyanjui was up for any job that he got a few coins, this came as a shock to us, plus the way he casually said it, like someone saying, 

“huwa napika mandazi.”

There were a few questions after he said that, like how did he land the job, has something peculiar happened while he was on the job, did the job change his perceptive in life, how did he handle bereaved family and friends? 

He held his hand up, to signal to us, to put a pause on the questions for a bit, because what he just said caused him to open up a whole Pandora's box of questions. There was uneasy silence, followed by each one of us sipping some whiskey or gin or whatever the person preferred, plus making himself comfortable in order not to miss anything that Kinyanjui was going to say.

He leaned forward, and asked us, 

“do really want to know?”

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Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

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