Boss, unaweza ingia WhatsApp kidogo?

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                               There I was, doing wahenga proud, you know when they say atafutaye hachoki? I'm there looking for clients to deliver quality, and get paid. So I spot a gig, while I'm looking at the brief, I realize there’s no way I could show up and execute it. I don't bite what I can't chew, so me being me, I decided to hand the gig over to Prof.  Not to seem like I'm gassing him up, but Prof si mtu wa mchezo. legendary guy. Kazi safi, anajua mambo, alafu ni mtu wa heshima. So I link him up with the client for the gig, then quickly texted him,  “kaka,  kuna shughuli hapa nimekuplug.” An hour later, Prof replies with a long ass text. You know it's real when someone types a text yenye kidogo inakaa manuscript ya kupeleka publishing. He goes: “Vipi bazu. Thanks man.   2 months ago, Lorry yangu ililima gari ya wenyewe  Nikakimbizwa sana since insurance ilikua kachap...

The undertaker.


I have told lots of stories, and I have heard lot's of stories over the years, but none could prepare me for this story I am about to tell you. 

First I'll have to ask you, 

which is most bizarre job or contact, 

you have ever done,

for money?

To most people, I am the guy who has been in some crazy hustles, but compared to my guy, Kinyanjui, that is just a tiny handful of some sand to a whole beach. I don't think there's a hustle in this world that Kinyanjui hasn't been to. 

If it isn't washing old people's bums, he's out there brokering property, trading stocks, professional mourner, eating contests, extras in Kenyan movies, in corporate tenders, let me pause it at that because the list is quite endless.

We were chilling one lovely Saturday, as you well might know Saturday is for the boys. Banters against who's team was thrashed and is likely to be thrashed on the weekend, then the conversation shifted to crazy shit people have done, guess who was at the centre of the entire conversation? Kinyanjui! 

One of my buddies, Bruno, in between the fits of laughter asked Kinyanjui, 

“Is there anything in this world, 

you haven't done?”


 That's when Kinyanjui casually said that at some point he has even worked at a mortuary, receiving, preparing and dispatching the dead bodies for burial. Immediately he said that, we were left, intrigued and much as we knew Kinyanjui was up for any job that he got a few coins, this came as a shock to us, plus the way he casually said it, like someone saying, 

“huwa napika mandazi.”

There were a few questions after he said that, like how did he land the job, has something peculiar happened while he was on the job, did the job change his perceptive in life, how did he handle bereaved family and friends? 

He held his hand up, to signal to us, to put a pause on the questions for a bit, because what he just said caused him to open up a whole Pandora's box of questions. There was uneasy silence, followed by each one of us sipping some whiskey or gin or whatever the person preferred, plus making himself comfortable in order not to miss anything that Kinyanjui was going to say.

He leaned forward, and asked us, 

“do really want to know?”

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Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

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