Shimonjero

-
Image
  You know those times unasikia ni kama unachizi? Umepanga vitu zako vizuri, from A-Z then everything decides to go tits up kama mende imededi? So recently I was in such a bubble, naona tu Dim.  Nikasema sitachizi niliona, wacha I go see my hombre, Tommie, pale Kach. It's very peaceful place btw. After the first day, we are beating stories after kumaliza shughuli mbili tatu, nothing major, just enough to feel productive without actually being productive.  Out of nowhere, Tommie leans in like he’s about to reveal state secrets. “Btw nilikuwa na mpango na fulani na yule jirani  nilikuwa nataka tupangane.  Si tufike hivyo?” We pull up to Jirani's compound, and the first thing we see? Two cocks. Full chest out. Feathers flying. Pride on the line. These roosters were not playing. This wasn’t a disagreement, this was generational beef. You could tell one of them had been waiting for this moment since childhood. Jamaa sees us and instead of greeting like a normal human...
Post a Comment

Ni mbayaa!

-

 

               It was one of those days, there I was chilling after some hectic shughuli, just trying to catch my breath, nangoja mat ijae itoke stage nifike mtaa. I spot this girl amekaa kando yangu holding a water bottle, and it was like ¾ full. I was feeling a little thirsty, ok, maybe more than a little. 


I say hi to her, Namsho design jua imenikaranga kama mimi ni kitunguu, na venye naskia ulimi imekauka, wacha tu. Si mnaelewa hii joto imekuwa recently? I go ahead and ask her if she would mind giving me a sip of her water?  It seems to me like she doesn't mind my request, because she passes her water bottle over to me. I'm like, I can finally quench my thirst. I take one big sip, and immediately regret it… aiyo! 


My tongue is like sandpaper. Naenda kutema, naona kanjo ndio huyo, ananingoja niteme tu hivi, ashuke, na ashine na mimi proper! Inabidi tu nimemeza shingo upande. Ikiteremka naskia ni kama my throat is hosting a barbecue, and my brain is screaming at me like


“Hii ni changaa, 

hiding in plain sight?” 


After nimerudishia dame water bottle yake, I sat there, nimefreeze, nashangaa, 




“Kwani, 

hii ni ile changaa ya wapi?”


Wacha mat ijae, itoke CBD, ishike highway, ndio naskia effects za hio sip zinakam in full force. Eeei! I could feel it cooking in me, niliiskia inachoma hadi kwa maini, naskia hadi kwa loop of Henle, inafeel ni kama Ghost rider amepita hapo. I'm telling you, it was flames, fire, chaos… Siet! 


And the girl? 


You should have seen her. She was just there, her face a picture of innocence, smiling like nothing has happened, holding her water bottle like a boss. 


Me? 

I was still thirsty, recovering from that sip, karibu inipige knockout. I'm there whispering to myself, 


“Next time, beba maji yako bana… 

kunywa maji yako tu.”

Comments

Post a Comment

Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

Popular posts from this blog

Death at a funeral, the interrogation.

-
Image
Continued from..   Death at a funeral I’m no wolverine who could heal quickly from a stab wound so I didn’t want to take my chances with the knife. As the rough and husky man directed me on where to go, I noticed it was like time had stood still, with chaos beautifully painted. I explored my choices on how to get out of this predicament, and boy! They didn’t look at all great, most of them all pointed to one end result, 6ft under. Except one, I was to act a fool. That is what I went with, to buy myself some time to figure how to get out of this ordeal and never have to look over my shoulder or be paranoid when I’m with someone’s daughter wondering, is she the means they have used to get to me?  Ever heard of the Samson and Delilah story? We reach at the car, at the very end of the field. A black Chevy, beautiful with a sleek paint job and design, and the door pops open. “Utleast you idiots have class,” is the last thing I say before I’m roughly shoved in, the rough and husky...
Continue...

Cloud 9 , what's next?

-
Image
Then she melted into the crowd. She took a while then nikacheki kuna dame yuko solo kwa corner nikasema nifike hivyo nimpee company. Huyo dame alinisho anaitwa Alicia.  Kuendelea kubonga nikarealize kumbe alikuwa anaogopa. Alikuwa ametag along na friend yake ndio asiboeke kwa hao akiwa pekee yake.  Nikamweka at ease na convo ingine fiti sana akanijenga no incase tupoteanwe tutafutana then we talked some more then Steph akatokea.  Akacheka then akaniita nimfuate. Madem na wivu bana  😂😂  Steph aliona ana compe.. Mimi huyo nikidhani Steph amepata plug wa sth sth iko na sweet aroma tufike cloud nine nayo.  Kufika to some secluded place anatoa some pills. Kumuuliza ni nini ananichapia ati molly. Akaextend mkono anipitishie nikakataa. “Shauri yako”   akasema then akameza.After a while niliona ameanza kuwa handsy.. “Huyu anataka ku unleash the beast”  Nilijiuliza kimoyomoyo.Kiasi kiasi nacheki mjamaa akikam ile corner tulikuwa. Nikajua baaas.. Huyu ni...
Continue...

Back to the basics.

-
Image
Nimeona picture kwa meme fulani, ikanipeleka tour down memory lane. Many moons ago, nikiwa primary. Nikitaja ilikuwa how many years ago, mtaniona ka mmoja wa wale wahenga mlikuwa mnaandika kwa kwa insha, ati, wahenga hawakupaka mafuta kwa mgongo wa chupa waliponena... 😅😅😅 Kulikuwa na hii stuff ilikuwa primary, ndio ukuwe unaongea kizungu, ulikuwa unakuwa punished psychologically ukiongea na mother tongue, kiswahili or the language of the streets, sheng. Except siku moja yenye mngekuwa exempted kuongea whichever language you fancy. Mental punishment depended on which time era you were in. For yours truly, ilikuwa kuvaa bling bling ya mfupa ingine kubwa. Yours truly, hajaanza kupiga story sahii, like B.I.G. nilikuwa notorious but upande wa kuongea. Hakuna siku nikiwahi kosa kwa list ya noisemakers, na siku sikuwa nimeongea labda nilikuwa mgonjwa. Most people walikuwa wana detest kuvaa hio bling bling, ju ya aibu ilikuwa associated with it, so msee alikuwa anakuwekea mtego, uongee tu l...
Continue...

Miss Anonymous 2

-
Image
  Continued from here-->>  Miss Anonymous Ju ya kuwa street smart kiasi tu, niliweza kutoka kuwa mgeni wa serikali bila kesi kuwa ngori. Vile natoka though, weeeh! Nanuka, niko mchafu, usingizi, kitu nataka ni kufika tu kejani nioge, nipite kwa mathe nikule, nilale. Nafika hivi ploti, watoto wa jirani wakinicheki wanahepa tu wakilia, kwani nakaa mnyama nini? Wamama wa ploti, najua wameshapata story mpya na mimi, but haidhuru, watabonga kisha watalala. Venye nimeshiba, napiga shower nitoe stench na misuli inyooke kidogo kisha nalala. Nastukia mlango inabishwa, kuangalia saa ni saa kumi na moja jioni. Weeh, nimelala kama maiti za pale Chiromo.😅 Kumbe ni arif yangu Timo, na venye nilikuwa nimejitayarisha na maneno nikidhani ni landlord. 😅😅 Namfungulia mlango aingie, but anaingia akiniuliza nimepotelea wapi, ati amekuwa akinitafuta siku kadhaa.  Nikienda kuona venye nitamjibu, ghafla bin vuu, simu inalia. Kuenda kucheki ni nani anapiga, nastukia ni ule Miss Anonymous...
Continue...