Mwili mpya...

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“We are fucked!”  Tommie stared at the gas cylinder as if it had personally betrayed him. “Gas inaumua iishe sahii? Fuck! Sina job,  pesa ndio hii imeamua kuingia witness protection.” His wife, Mary, was sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling through her phone with the kind of concentration usually reserved for presidential results. “Babe,  si unawarm ile maharagwe ya juzi?” Tommie turned slowly. “Those beans?” Mary nodded. “The same beans zimekaa kwa fridge tangu juzi?” “Tommie…” “Mary, hizo beans ziko na history.  Juzi ndio zilikuwa beans.  Leo ni story ingine.” Mary sighed. “Ju gas imeisha,  tunatupa hizo beans tulale njaa ama turisk?” Tommie closed the fridge because when he had opened the fridge to take out the beans to warm, a funny smell escaped. “Pasi lazima aniconfirmie kitu.” “What?” “Kwamba binguni tunapewa mwili mpya.” Mary laughed despite herself. “Why?” “Because hii yangu imechoka. Imeishiwa nguvu.  Sasa ju ya njaa, inataka kula beans ...
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Take me back 2

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Continued from Take me back

             Just like that, my brain replays that crazy and wild night, back then before love ilinionesha shege kweli  kweli, nilikuwa na my then gal (Some how I'd forgotten all about her), my Boyz and their women at a a certain club along Kiambu road, sikumbuki ni gani. 


A couple of guys clearly drunk had bumped into my gal and her group while she was coming from the washrooms accompanied by her group (my Boyz women's).


( To this very day, I have never grasped why women go to the washrooms in groups), 


After being told to watch where they are going by my gal, this guys, instead of apologizing, they became arrogant. They started raining vulgar insults on my gal and her group (my Boyz women's). 






Mimi niko somewhere just sipping my drinks while observing the fruckus. I locked eyes with my gal at some point during my observation, saw all the balancing tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes, and knew she was about to cry, that's when I went full territorial mode. 


Hawakujua venye nilifika place walikuwa, waliona tu niko hapo. I told them to apologize, then they started talking shit. The guys wao ni kuongea matope tu, hawanotice on my end, hasira ni kupanda inapanda, wao wanaongea tu fwaaa! I think they saw they were five against one (me) and in their minds, they were like 


huyu jamaa hawezi tufanyia kitu. 


Unfortunately for them, they forgot one important thing, that there is only so much a man can take, before he snaps and shit goes berserk welcoming chaos like Odin welcoming vikings who had died in his name in battle, in Valhalla 


Niliona hapa venye kunaendelea ni kama tunaendelea kukoseana heshima, na haifai hivyo kabsaa! And as they continued talking shit, walistukia tu Pap! Mmoja wao ngumi yangu imeconnect na uso yake na uzito, hadi jamaa akastagger back. 


My boyz kucheki venye kumeenda, venye ni wao five against one (me), na naweza choka pia mimi nigeuziwe nilimwe ka burukenge, wakaamua pia wao waingie wastretch mikono yao kidogo and that's when all shit broke loose. Bouncers kujaribu kuingilia ndio wastop vita, walijipata pia wameguzwa guzwa bila kutaka. 


I sigh, put the phone down alafu naambia Tommy hata sikumbuki venye tulitoka hio scene, na hata venye tulitoka in one piece ni maajabu. Tommy laughs for a bit, akinikumbusha hio usiku, venye my gal alikuwa amenishikilia ka dhambi, then we toasted to more adventures na clients tulikuwa nao  just an hour ago, wasiingie mitini.


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Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

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