Nòî

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On another episode of: things that never happened, or did they? Saturday or Sunday, many many many moons ago. I used to go to the bafu na towel pekee always wondering how women always walked around in skirts. So after showering it was free mode mpaka kejani. Kwa buloti, it was a communal bathroom so you had to carry your bucket. Na ukipata mtu yuko ndani, unapanga laini. On this particular day nilikuwa nimechemsha maji niko ready kuingia kwa bafu, jirani beat me to the bathroom by seconds. I left my bucket full of warm water hapo nikiwa frustrated then nikaingia kejani kutime akitoka, naruka ndani. Asubuhi gets chilly so you can't just hang around there waiting ukiwa kifua iko nje, umejifunga towel pekee. Akamaliza nikaskia mlango yake imefunga, nikakimbia bafu fasta fasta maji yangu isipoe, ingepoa ingekuwa balaa. Kumbe she was not yet done, alikua ameacha karai yake na maji hapo ndani arudi kuosha kifuniko. Mimi naye nokatoa hio basin nje nikaingia kwa bafu, this is not ...

Take me back 2

Continued from Take me back

             Just like that, my brain replays that crazy and wild night, back then before love ilinionesha shege kweli  kweli, nilikuwa na my then gal (Some how I'd forgotten all about her), my Boyz and their women at a a certain club along Kiambu road, sikumbuki ni gani. 


A couple of guys clearly drunk had bumped into my gal and her group while she was coming from the washrooms accompanied by her group (my Boyz women's).


( To this very day, I have never grasped why women go to the washrooms in groups), 


After being told to watch where they are going by my gal, this guys, instead of apologizing, they became arrogant. They started raining vulgar insults on my gal and her group (my Boyz women's). 






Mimi niko somewhere just sipping my drinks while observing the fruckus. I locked eyes with my gal at some point during my observation, saw all the balancing tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes, and knew she was about to cry, that's when I went full territorial mode. 


Hawakujua venye nilifika place walikuwa, waliona tu niko hapo. I told them to apologize, then they started talking shit. The guys wao ni kuongea matope tu, hawanotice on my end, hasira ni kupanda inapanda, wao wanaongea tu fwaaa! I think they saw they were five against one (me) and in their minds, they were like 


huyu jamaa hawezi tufanyia kitu. 


Unfortunately for them, they forgot one important thing, that there is only so much a man can take, before he snaps and shit goes berserk welcoming chaos like Odin welcoming vikings who had died in his name in battle, in Valhalla 


Niliona hapa venye kunaendelea ni kama tunaendelea kukoseana heshima, na haifai hivyo kabsaa! And as they continued talking shit, walistukia tu Pap! Mmoja wao ngumi yangu imeconnect na uso yake na uzito, hadi jamaa akastagger back. 


My boyz kucheki venye kumeenda, venye ni wao five against one (me), na naweza choka pia mimi nigeuziwe nilimwe ka burukenge, wakaamua pia wao waingie wastretch mikono yao kidogo and that's when all shit broke loose. Bouncers kujaribu kuingilia ndio wastop vita, walijipata pia wameguzwa guzwa bila kutaka. 


I sigh, put the phone down alafu naambia Tommy hata sikumbuki venye tulitoka hio scene, na hata venye tulitoka in one piece ni maajabu. Tommy laughs for a bit, akinikumbusha hio usiku, venye my gal alikuwa amenishikilia ka dhambi, then we toasted to more adventures na clients tulikuwa nao  just an hour ago, wasiingie mitini.


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