Nòî

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On another episode of: things that never happened, or did they? Saturday or Sunday, many many many moons ago. I used to go to the bafu na towel pekee always wondering how women always walked around in skirts. So after showering it was free mode mpaka kejani. Kwa buloti, it was a communal bathroom so you had to carry your bucket. Na ukipata mtu yuko ndani, unapanga laini. On this particular day nilikuwa nimechemsha maji niko ready kuingia kwa bafu, jirani beat me to the bathroom by seconds. I left my bucket full of warm water hapo nikiwa frustrated then nikaingia kejani kutime akitoka, naruka ndani. Asubuhi gets chilly so you can't just hang around there waiting ukiwa kifua iko nje, umejifunga towel pekee. Akamaliza nikaskia mlango yake imefunga, nikakimbia bafu fasta fasta maji yangu isipoe, ingepoa ingekuwa balaa. Kumbe she was not yet done, alikua ameacha karai yake na maji hapo ndani arudi kuosha kifuniko. Mimi naye nokatoa hio basin nje nikaingia kwa bafu, this is not ...

Butwaa! 2

Continuation from Butwaa


Any mlevi reading this knows that hio mkojo ndio ime hold back kuzima ziii. So Liz takes her to a nearby washroom, and when she comes back, her legs seem to have forgotten their function, you know, like holding the body weight and supporting locomotion. Miguu zake ziko jelly jelly. So she just says, 


"ebu mnishikilie kiasi" 


That, my friends, was the last time I saw her standing. Her eyes shut, her mouth failed the speaking test, and she just fell into our hands. Visiting hours zimeisha, amevaa uniform, tuko in a location civilian hawafai kukuwa. Trouble was brewing like the water we just drank. We tell Liz juu pia yeye ako na uniform aende akuje na help as we try to make her vomit and pour water on her. Waapi! 


Liz alienda na simu yake and the clothes we had brought. Mpaka leo 11 years later hajawai rudi. We are there for 30 mins and catch the radar: civilians on government land. A whistle is blown, and close to 40 officers are on scene in a minute. Zilishuka mpaka nikakuwa as clean as a kid. 


Daudi panics and freezes in intense situations, Salma just starts talking nonsense, and her words are colliding in her mouth, Dan amechukua mtoi akaanza kusema yeye amefika tu saa hio ati alikuwa ametukujia juu tumekawia sana. I am the only one sane enough to put Abby in

a recovery position and prevent her from choking. They finally ask me what happened, and I try to explain without pinning the blame on anyone. 


We are all taken in. Msichana akakujiwa na ambulance ya GK apelekwe drug test. Sisi tuko nyuma ya cruiser tukiambiwa tume poison askari, and they will check for any rape. Mailodi, sai nafaa kua gari ya kurudi nairobi instead niko kwa gari ya kuenda jela, and nobody out of the people there knows my whereabouts. Hapa nikikufa watu watashangaa tu nlienda wapi ju the govt can make you disappear, and nobody will know.


Maswali za askari guys zinakuja kama mvua 

Mnakuja kwa kambi, mnalewesha askari? 

kwanza mliingiza aje?

eeh mnajua prezdent alikua huku? 

The security is tight, are you terrorists? 

Mmembaka sindio? 

Umesema wewe ndio boyfriend? 

Umemiss kuma ukaona ushukishe uniform eeh?






Mtakaa hapa mpaka aamke na daktari aseme mko innocent, kaa tayari kukula mayai ya serikali. Came to find out it's boiled unpeeled waru after staying hungry for 24 hours. At around


11pm wakasema Salma na mtoto waende home, wabaki na mandume our phones were confiscated earlier, so tunaskia tu vibrations na ringtones.


Tulikaa the whole night hoping Abby aamke, twende home. This was on Thursday, kuamkia Friday. Friday saa nane (20 hrs later) tukaletewa ugali cabej ndio tusi zimie kwa holding cell yao just to keep us alive. Friday 5pm, 6pm, 8pm, mtu amevaa boxer moja hizo siku heeh.


Tulitoka Monday morning. Simu zilizima. Tulikuwa tunaambiana tukiachiliwa tukitoka hapa tunaenda straight kwa liquor store pap! And that's exactly what we did. Cheers to bad decision-making.

 

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