Shimonjero

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  You know those times unasikia ni kama unachizi? Umepanga vitu zako vizuri, from A-Z then everything decides to go tits up kama mende imededi? So recently I was in such a bubble, naona tu Dim.  Nikasema sitachizi niliona, wacha I go see my hombre, Tommie, pale Kach. It's very peaceful place btw. After the first day, we are beating stories after kumaliza shughuli mbili tatu, nothing major, just enough to feel productive without actually being productive.  Out of nowhere, Tommie leans in like he’s about to reveal state secrets. “Btw nilikuwa na mpango na fulani na yule jirani  nilikuwa nataka tupangane.  Si tufike hivyo?” We pull up to Jirani's compound, and the first thing we see? Two cocks. Full chest out. Feathers flying. Pride on the line. These roosters were not playing. This wasn’t a disagreement, this was generational beef. You could tell one of them had been waiting for this moment since childhood. Jamaa sees us and instead of greeting like a normal human...

Jirani chronicles

 

            So I'm just chilling at my crib, I decided to call my G huwa namuita anko, (don’t ask why, story for another day because that story needs a whole episode on its own), tuonge tupange ma one two. Hata hatujaongea sana, nasikia my door ina gongwa gongwa na vurugu. Na pause kiasi. 


You know that moment where your spirit steps out of your body for a second to peep through the curtain before you do? Yeah, that one. Na hang up call with my G, saa hio nashangaa ni nani huyu ananitafuta na fujo hivi? Naenda kuangalia, alafu nifungue, nijue how it will go down ie kama kutakuwa na throwing of fists. Kuangalia tu hivi, ni three burly men, wamekula chuma wakashiba ka crocodile imemeza wildebeest mzima time huwa zina cross River Mara


Na tense kiasi, but najipiga kifua nilikuambia kama mbaya mbaya! Nafungua mlango nijue venye kutaenda, wananicheki hivi, design wanarudi chini then wako zile za 


“Pole.”




One of them turns to the rest anawaambia 


“aaah si hapa, 

ni juu.”


Then they climb the stairs and proceed to bang on that door of the house on the floor above mine. Design wanagonga ni kama hio mlango imewakosea. They sure bang that door, wakiwa zile za collo (not the jirani's name), najua uko hapo ndani, fungua. Collo (again not jirani's real name) nakusikia uko ndani. Collo (tumeshaestablish it's not jirani’s name), fungua wacha ufala. They bang the door, and it seems with each bang, ni kama wanakuwa more agitated. 


They bang for a while, then decide to call it quits. I hear them swearing wakishuka stairs. They are pissed as hell at Collo ju hakufungua. Niko zile za wasikupate jirani, design wamekutafuta ni kama watakumeza mzima mzima. Their anger is a bit funny, ju si mimi natafutwa. 


Najiambia, nikiwahi tafutwa hivyo, na hio design, na pull off disappearing act moja hatari, Prison Break itafanya a sequel on it, I guarantee you. Najua my G anadhani ni credit ilidie, ndio simu ikakatika, so he'll read hii time after imedrop akuwe zile za kumbe! 


Anyway, 

Letstoriesunfold wishes y'all have

a happy new year!

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