Mwili mpya...

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“We are fucked!”  Tommie stared at the gas cylinder as if it had personally betrayed him. “Gas inaumua iishe sahii? Fuck! Sina job,  pesa ndio hii imeamua kuingia witness protection.” His wife, Mary, was sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling through her phone with the kind of concentration usually reserved for presidential results. “Babe,  si unawarm ile maharagwe ya juzi?” Tommie turned slowly. “Those beans?” Mary nodded. “The same beans zimekaa kwa fridge tangu juzi?” “Tommie…” “Mary, hizo beans ziko na history.  Juzi ndio zilikuwa beans.  Leo ni story ingine.” Mary sighed. “Ju gas imeisha,  tunatupa hizo beans tulale njaa ama turisk?” Tommie closed the fridge because when he had opened the fridge to take out the beans to warm, a funny smell escaped. “Pasi lazima aniconfirmie kitu.” “What?” “Kwamba binguni tunapewa mwili mpya.” Mary laughed despite herself. “Why?” “Because hii yangu imechoka. Imeishiwa nguvu.  Sasa ju ya njaa, inataka kula beans ...
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Mapenzi crazy!

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By the way, nishawahi pendwa na wazimu wasee. Not toxic like how some of your partners in some of your relationships are, just somebody's daughter who was mentally ill. Tulieni niwapee story how it all went down.


I was coming from Murang'a, nilikuwa nimetoka huko kupiga shughuli mbili tatu, as you know kwa gari kuna wale watu hubebwa mid journey, so sisi hao, tuko Kenol, gari imesimama watu kadhaa wakashuka, conductor yuko nje anaita watu wengine waiingie kwa gari to fill the empty seats. 


I have my awesome earphones on, nasikia kuna fracas outside but I mind my shit so I ignore it, ju the last time niliona mtu ameleta kiherehere kwa shughuli haikuwa yake, alistukia amepigwa Kofi, mate ikatoka na curve kama shot ya Messi in his prime. Suddenly, I look up, and a fine gal catches the edge of my sight, eye contact kiasi between me and her and she smiles. 


Damn a fine gal like this one?

Thank you God!


I remove my earphones so I can see her well. I songa songa as she comes and sits next to me. The journey starts and I start beating her stories of giants and making her giggle. She has a beautiful smile and nice looking thighs. She goes ahead and tells me that her name Yvonne, but she really likes to be called Ivy. 


As I was telling her stories, she somehow found a way to interweave my hand with hers. We are there, holding hands like we have known each other for decades and she lays her head on my shoulder and it feels so awesome. Time flies ile time maisha haikuoneshi shege, kiasi kiasi naona tunakaribia Nairobi, tushapita survey we are heading to Guru Nanak. Hapo nyuma nikaskia,


“tuweke hapo Mathare, 

kwa hosi”


I was like, wait a minute, kwani, kwa hii mat tuko na machizi na sijui? Wacha tufike alafu the person mwenye anafaa atolewe ni the gal naona ni kama ni my rib ju design tumebond from Kenol, eeei! Kuangalia nje, naona two very strong uncles wako hapo stage bana, waiting. 


I have never seen a woman, that strong, in my life before, venye alikuwa amenikwamilia akiniita, 




“Baabeee…

Please don't let them take me away!”


Weeeh, karibu tung'oe viti za wenyewe. So I come to learn afterwards that, ile fracas ilikuwa ni yeye hakuwa anataka kupanda kwa gari, but seeing kijana handsome she agreed to, alikuwa great na ametulia  nikimpigia story. No way would I have imagined that she's mentally ill. Nilifika tao na trauma, na torn jacket na venye nilikuwa nishaanza ku picture vile watoi wangu watakuwa bana.

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Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

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