Kamagera

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              In my existence, I have noticed some people are eating life with a big spoon, others like me, life is eating us with big spoons (read spade).  Not so many moons ago I was in a very bad fix, big brain, alot of skills but no paper evidence to match the skill so the people with money think you are a con. Anyway, I had a friend who was a donda (read conductor), I know he makes over 1500 daily because one day he told me, I asked him to link me up to one of the manyangas and he told me, “Si rahisi ni kulink  mimi stakudanganya kama wale uncle wa nyumbani  ati maliza shule nitakueka mahali.”  So he told me about kamagera ( a person who just loads people in a Matatu , and remains.) and their rowdiness. That their survival in nairobi is to be likened to the silverback against 100 men. No mercy. Nikamuuliza, because I want a fishing rod, not the fish itself so as to fend for myself.  So akaniambia you just go to any st...

Mapenz 2

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Mapenz 1

 

Cleaned up real nice, 

wacha tu! 

Ungeniona ningekukunywa like those thirsty people kwa Ads za Sprite, au kama vampire, wenye sisi huona kwa movies, that is if, wewe ni dame. 



Nikapiga perfume yangu vizuri, when you smell nice, confidence hukuwa mia kwa mia. Mimi huyo, najisikia, ego iko overflowing, naenda hadi stage, nipande mat, niingie tao. 


Nikiwa kwa njia naona venye siku itakuwa tu vibes on vibes with someone's daughter. On the previous day, tulikuwa tume elewana tunapatana saa nne. Nilikuwa hapo by 9, hapo I&M towers. An understocked tuskys, not far away from my position, nikapatana na madam anauza maua akasema 


“si ushukurie mpens hisi mauwa, 

atazipenda”


Nikasema why not? Mimi bazenga niko hapo na maua waiting for the princess Hadija. So ikafika 10 nikasema wacha ningoje kidogo, 11 ikafika nikiwa nimesimama hapo kama mti, najiconsole tu, anakuja, ni jam imemchelewisha. Hapo naona most people wanapita wakiwa two by two kama enzi za Noah time ya kupanda Ark, nashangaa kwani Hadija wangu yuko wapi. 


12 kufika, huyo madam wa maua akauliza kama niko sure anakuja. For a whole 3 hours patiently waiting for her, I was hopeful she would show up. But after that question my heart sank. 


Enyewe words have power. 


From 12 to 1pm, it felt like 3 hrs wasee. It had now dawned on me that my hand was the water less a vase for the flowers. Nikaanza safari ya kurudi kwangu, jua ilikuwa imewaka kuwaka inakaa orange, but venye nilikuwa nasikia, wacha tu. The cold chill down my spine, ilikuwa inafanya natetemeka tu. 


If Uber was there, 

hiyo siku singepanda mat. 


Ladies and gentlemen that was the making of a monster. Hadijah mahali uko shindweee. These moments are those that break a man into unrepairable versions of themselves. Thank God for phones, smart phones in particular. Nikifiria what people do for and when they are in love, naskia kucheka. 


Jamani nimeteseka hii Nairobi. Wacha nimalizie hapo, naskia ni kama machos itatoka yenyewe, at anytime. 

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Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

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