Kamagera

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              In my existence, I have noticed some people are eating life with a big spoon, others like me, life is eating us with big spoons (read spade).  Not so many moons ago I was in a very bad fix, big brain, alot of skills but no paper evidence to match the skill so the people with money think you are a con. Anyway, I had a friend who was a donda (read conductor), I know he makes over 1500 daily because one day he told me, I asked him to link me up to one of the manyangas and he told me, “Si rahisi ni kulink  mimi stakudanganya kama wale uncle wa nyumbani  ati maliza shule nitakueka mahali.”  So he told me about kamagera ( a person who just loads people in a Matatu , and remains.) and their rowdiness. That their survival in nairobi is to be likened to the silverback against 100 men. No mercy. Nikamuuliza, because I want a fishing rod, not the fish itself so as to fend for myself.  So akaniambia you just go to any st...

Shwaaaa!

            The sun was freaking hot and the sun had no issues baking y'all, ndio at least muive. I remember November December 2018 vividly, like it was yesterday. It was so freaking hot that ungejimwagilia maji kwa mgongo ingelia kama venye maji kwa sufuria moto hulia, shwaaaaa. 


Anyway, I know the devil is next to you whispering in a smooth convincing tone,


“enda swimming sahii, 

kuna joto”


Before you go, chill and lemme tell you about my first ever swimming expedition. Growing up, I was learning about useless stuff like insect anatomy and how the international space station works. So I missed out on childhood happiness like duff mpararo (I have only one experience) and bike races. 


Back then I was 20 and somewhere in Machakos county with my gang, a place where there is a wide river that crosses our location. My whole gang is aware that I do not know the skill of fish. After all, fish do not know how to walk 


(nisiskie mtu akitaja villagers wa SpongeBob). 


So they decide like good pals wacha wanipeleke niongeze kwa CV ya dating, the swimming part. It was early in the year, kama tu sahii. On that day, tulibeba shorts and went to the bank. River bank. Hio ingine tutaenda soon, mambo iki allign, tuskate na bank teller. Those who have lived kwa kichaka and learnt the skill in the river hurriedly jumped in. Wale wa pool wakakaa na mimi hapo, wetting their feet, waki gain confidence. 


Mimi niko hapo tu nikatulia nikitafta courage pia mimi. Ghafla bin vu, nikaskia niko ndani ya maji. Kumbe my friend, Sam, alinipush ndani, akisema there's no way umekuja supermarket kuangalia watu waki shop. Mimi huyo nimestuka, nashangaa mbona environment ni wet and wavy. 


Kabla nipate bearing hivi nmekunywa 23 liters kama guzzler. Wale walikua ndani ya maji wanacheka. Kuangalia wale wako nje observers wanakufa kicheko. Niko hapo ndani, fighting invisible demons waniachie maisha yangu bana. Niko kwa shimo bana. I can't seem to reach the edges of the hole and I can't step on the floor. 


Niliona white. Kiasi kiasi hivi naona my great great grandfather, Gikonyo, mwenye alipigana kwa second world war, akiniambia come my son come, kando yake ni Abraham. Peter yuko pale, amesimama kwa the pearly gates, ameanza kuchagua funguo, kwa zake kubwa kubwa. 


Kiasi kiasi naskia another voice, gentle and calm ikisema 


“It's not yet his time, let him go back.”




Nikaona jua. Kumbe nimekunywa maji yote, karibu mto ikauke.

Comments

  1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kitu naweza kwambia ni eti, pia sisi watu wa SpongeBob, tunajua Duff mpararoπŸ˜„

    ReplyDelete
  3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete

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Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

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