Take me back.

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              A couple of months back, nilikuwa nimeenda place fulani shughuli na one of my boyz, Tommy, tulikuwa Whistling Moran I think. Tulifika mapema, tumetulia tunangoja tu clients wafike. I always arrive early for business, a skill I unknowingly picked up from my old man. Tommy alikuwa anataka kushika one or two beers to kill time before clients wafike, lakini nikamsho zii, business first, atashika a couple of beers after tumemalizana na clients.  Tulikuwa tunataka tu kufine tune some details kwa contract fulani tulipata ya kuweka some serious coins in our pockets with the clients ndio tusichomeke. After they arrive, tunaanza kuiron out some details with the clients, it takes a while, going back and forth, and right before I reach my breaking point to snap and maybe flip the table on them like I have see it done in the movies, the clients compromises, and agree to some of the changes we want in the contract.  Satisfied, we bid the clie...

Nyama, what happened next?

This is a continuation from

 the first part of Nyama

Enjoy.

I parked my chopper and went over to check the carcass. I found it was still oozing warm blood, then I quickly scanned the area and found that it was clear, not a car in sight for miles. I was still scratching my head, thinking about what to do, when I saw Jakofu. 

He lived a stone's throw to where I was. He was herding a caucasian's goats when I whistled to alert him. He knew what was up because he came with a major (hunter's knife). The moment Jakofu came, we moved to where the Zebra's carcass was and started to quickly divide up the meat. 



I even got a gunia to carry the meat in. I thought to myself, today at Mama Njoki's place there will be an invigorating aroma that will make people's mouths water. I also knew that my hands would be fortunate to caress some notes and coins for my thoughtfulness. 

The day was promising to be a success. Jakofu helped me to load my luggage onto the bike, and I left. Alas! I had no clue Satan was there with me the entire time plotting. I had a car horn blaring behind me. I had no side mirror so I had to look back. 

I was surprised, then shocked, plus the fear that overcame me when I saw and I found out that it was a K.W.S Land cruiser, was enormous. Before I could even react, I felt a whip whiz past and embrace my upper back. 

The way I coiled and recoiled my back in indescribable pain caused me to lose control, and because the luggage I carried was heavy, I found myself falling embracing the dusty earth. I heard from the Cruiser,

“Leta huyo poacher hapa!”

My brother, my sister, dear readers,  the way that whip kept landing on my back nonstop for like a minute or two until I became a bit numb. The K.W.S guys asked me, 

“kijana, mbona unaua rasilimali?”

I answered,

“ni njaa.”




Big mistake. The guys asked me how many kilos of meat I could eat, and without knowing I answered five. They then proceeded to give me a dagger and instructed me to cut a nice juicy chunk of meat which is fatty. I carved out a big piece of steak with the dagger, fatty and juicy, about 5 or 6 kilos there. 

All this time, I have no clue what awaits me. I thought perhaps I was going to carry it for takeaway until one of the guys brandished his rifle, shot in the air, and placed the hot muzzle on my ear. I farted and almost shit on myself. A command bellowed out,


“Kijana,

tumekupatia 5 minutes

ukule hio nyama 

ama ukufe!”




My brothers, my sisters, the way I devoured that meat through and through like a meat mincer. You would have seen me as one of the zombies in The Walking Dead feasting upon unlucky fresh prey, lips all red like a Masai Moran's head.

If you ask me how I finished the meat, I would not know. The pain of uncountable whips (nyahunyos) that caressed my back repeatedly as I ran for dear life. After running a safe distance where the whips couldn't lap my back anymore like a thirsty dog to a stream of water, I felt a bullet whizz past my ear. 

I left Wepukhulu's bike behind, and the K.W.S guys carried it away as an exhibit. When I reached the gate to where I stayed, I started feeling dizzy. Let the floodgates open, let me start vomiting uncontrollably like a pregnant woman with a bad case of morning sickness. 

It was by sheer luck, I did not vomit my internal organs out. Guys, that was my last day with meat. By the way, I heard that Mama Njoki got married to a K.W.S. guy.


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Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

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