New story.

 

The year is fresh and exciting like yours truly, Souley Muchiri. Some of you have already started jotting down new year resolutions, others have woken up with a hangover, a few coins left from last years celebration or an individual at your bed you were so hot with the previous night after finishing counting down the year that just ended.

The story unfolds on a day before Christmas Eve.  The streets were almost deserted, most of the people having travelled to their upcountry, some of them on vacation, and some were just at home chilling. I was bored at home so I had decided to take a walk get some air and to let my phone charge a bit. As I walked a particular butchery caught my eye,  inside there was this gal, petite, fair skin pretty face. I got closer and closer inorder to have a word with her.

I saw as soon as I stepped inside the butchery that the butchery was cutting up the meat he had weighed for her, about three kilos of meat and that provided the perfect ice breaker for me and her. I made sure we locked eyes with her then I said,

“Hello.., ”

“I see you got such a nice appetite for good steak.”

It was such a huge risk, but I was like Kylian Mbappe taking that shot at last years world cup final. They say high risk, high returns she laughed so hard at me shooting my shot and when her laugh settled down she wiped a tear from her eyes then she asked, 

“Hello..,” 

“Who might be cocky arrogant stranger be..?”

I smiled noticing my shot had netted in a goal as I proceeded to introduce myself as she told me her name which was Su. We talked for a bit as her order was being finished. As she turned to leave, she hesitated for a bit at the entrance then softly told me she would love to hangout with me the next day. I asked for her phone to key in my phone no, then gave her the greenlight to text me anytime tomorrow. After she left, I proceeded to place my order to the butcher, picked it and went back home to prepare something to eat. The holiday season made the butcher even throw in some rosemary and some chilli for some good cheer.

After the meat was cooked and it's aroma was wafting throughout the house, I proceeded to place some water to boil for some ugali that's when I realized I had not switched on my phone and there might be someone who might be calling or texting me. As soon as I the phone was on, some notifications poured in. An Mpesa text there, several I tried to call you, and the promotional messages from the network providers. I put the phone down and proceed to spin some ugali to go with my dry fry meat.

It would be a big fat lie to say that I replied or returned anyone's calls and texts that night. All I did was eat some delicious dry fry and ugali that I had prepared, watched a movie then dozed off till morning where I was woken up by a call. I picked the call still sleepy with no idea who was calling me.

“Hello Souley..”

“It's Su.”

We proceeded to having a little chat with it ending by her inviting me to hangout with her that day from noon, and where we will meet. I turned up to meet and hangout with her looking fresh, handsome and dashing, and she disappoint as well turning up looking all beautiful and yummy. As she led the way to where we would spend the day, she told me that I surprised her the previous day and today I was to spend the day with some of her cousins and three of her cool young aunts.

Her cousins were fun, her aunties a breath of the fresh air from the aunties stereotypes, the all in your business kind of stuff you know. There was this aunty, Cynthia, who found us right in the middle of being all handsy handsy my hands deciding her body was my tourist attraction. We were about to leave, abit embarrassed when she remarked, 

“I just wish..,”

 “my late husband was like you two.”

My curiosity raged and I asked why she said that to us and if there was a story behind it. She sat down to tell us a story about her late husband who was a religious to a fault. She said it was good having him as a husband. As I was wondering why in the hell did she want us to reminisce with her, she got to the good stuff.

“Ikifika kwa bedminton ilikuwa dilemma ju ya his way of talking dirty..,

“ilikuwa inakufanya ucheke.

“shida ni atadhani unamchekelea.”

“Kuna this one time tuko right kwa mchezo,” 

“then ndio huyo in my ear.”

“Oooh my sister,”

“your land of Eden is sweet.”

“My sister has my shepherds rod entered your womb?”

We were laughing our asses off at her story almost out of breath. We thought that was all until she raised her index finger and said, that's not all. We were like noooo, there's more? She nodded her head and continued.

“He used to play gospel music as background music while we were getting intimate.”

“Everytime I hear gospel music, two things happen.” 

“I miss him and I get horny.”