INSECURE

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                 As I am writing this naskia masikio inakuwa moto ju ya hasira. Self control inashikiliwa na just a thread, nisikute that individual na panga niifanye shwaa shwaa shwaa, ka Samurai Jack. Najua mnashangaa mbona your storyteller amejaa ngori hivi, a certain individual, tuliagree nimpigie ma one two, nikatimiza, sasa kumpigia naskia mteja wa nambari uliyopiga hapatikani kwa sasa!   I'm livid, nashangaa rada hapa ni gani? In my mind, najaribu kuangalia mbona the individual yuko mteja from all perceptives, labda simu imezima, or imepotea, or pahali yuko hakuna network ndio call haingii, lakini the funny thing is there's a voice at the back of my head going hapanaaa! hapanaaa! hapanaa!  Anyway, I give the individual time, perhaps they will get back to me, explain to me why my calls to them were not going through you know? Naenda napiga shughuli mbili tatu, try to keep my mind occupied. Kuna this fear in another part o...

The Phenom Will Rise™


Oh I am a wreck

Everything I touch I break

From hearts to promises

I always end up with regrets

Is it me 

or 
is there somebody else 

living 

inside my body?

I don’t feel like myself

Sometimes 

I plan to get up the next morning 

go to work

But night comes 

I can’t sleep 

so I don’t come out of this bed 

in sunrise 

because I feel exhausted 

and I can’t relax

There comes a time 

I don’t even know 

what date or time it is

I just exist 

in the moment 

trying to run away from reality

This is a 100km race

Am sweating and panting profusely 

but I don’t see the finish line 

after an everlasting race

I might lose it already 

hope is cascading

I might be fading

beyond recognition

I don’t recognize this man 

I have grown to be

Am growing less each day of my life 
and 

I have a son who looks up to me

I believe he does 

maybe he doesn’t

I just can’t contemplate 

How do I raise a Son 

when I can’t see the glory of the sun?

How will I explain to a little kid 

that his daddy has not done enough 

to raise him

How will I live with myself 

knowing very well 

that I failed 

as a parent?

Apparently, 

I have no answers 

All I got 

is more questions to self

self is a silent sad being

Yes I am a man 

My dick can confirm it 

am I innot man enough 

Not this time

#ThePhenomWillRise™

       

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