Rhumba ya Jirani.

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  It's 11:18, I'm yet to sleep.  Earlier, hapo 6 or 7 pm, jirani karibu animalize na Dojo Maber, playing it over and over again, karibu I head over there, knock on their door, and tell them, hata kama ni kupenda wimbo aje, imetosha sasa.  But ni kama alijua or alisense before niende nimbishie, akachange playlist, akaamua sasa ni ngoma za Sauti Sol back to back. As I'm writing this, ni Insecure by Sauti Sol playing, ma baddies wakising along this part at the top of their voices,  Chini ya maji, si ni machizi Twachunguzana kipolisi And your body is a movie And I hope you feel the same But you're insecure (eeeeeh) Oh my you're insecure (aaaaaah) Oh my you're insecure (eeeeeh) And I'm insecure (aaaaaah) Before like an hour before, nilikuwa niko 50/50, scratch that, nilikuwa nimebakisha kidogo ni gate crush, ju naskia masauti nyororo, niko zile za damn it!  Si nivuke kwa jirani?  Kumbe this is how Fomo feels like? Such a nasty, nasty feeling! Inafanya hadi nakaa...

The Phenom Will Rise™


Oh I am a wreck

Everything I touch I break

From hearts to promises

I always end up with regrets

Is it me 

or 
is there somebody else 

living 

inside my body?

I don’t feel like myself

Sometimes 

I plan to get up the next morning 

go to work

But night comes 

I can’t sleep 

so I don’t come out of this bed 

in sunrise 

because I feel exhausted 

and I can’t relax

There comes a time 

I don’t even know 

what date or time it is

I just exist 

in the moment 

trying to run away from reality

This is a 100km race

Am sweating and panting profusely 

but I don’t see the finish line 

after an everlasting race

I might lose it already 

hope is cascading

I might be fading

beyond recognition

I don’t recognize this man 

I have grown to be

Am growing less each day of my life 
and 

I have a son who looks up to me

I believe he does 

maybe he doesn’t

I just can’t contemplate 

How do I raise a Son 

when I can’t see the glory of the sun?

How will I explain to a little kid 

that his daddy has not done enough 

to raise him

How will I live with myself 

knowing very well 

that I failed 

as a parent?

Apparently, 

I have no answers 

All I got 

is more questions to self

self is a silent sad being

Yes I am a man 

My dick can confirm it 

am I innot man enough 

Not this time

#ThePhenomWillRise™

       

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