Mteja.

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  8:23 am.   It's a few days after Christmas, unajua hizo siku zenye uko autopilot tu, waiting for 31st, upige nduru yako safi, or light up fireworks? It's the 30th, you would think nimetulia, at peace ju niko home, wrong! My mum ananipigia msomo on and on. I want to tell her, it's too early for this bana, chill! Najua nikiongea tu hivi, itakuwa a full blown argument, so I let her be. She is talking about stuff like mbona hauna bibi na watoto sahii?  She goes, nini unangoja? Angalia fulani, si mko age moja? Watu age yako wako na boma already! Tangu umalize campus, sijaona pahali hio masomo imekusaidia… She goes on and on chewing me off. In my head niko zile za Get back get back, you don't know me like that, talking a whole lotta shit I ain't trying to hear.  At that point, I even started regretting mbona nilishow up at home, at all, ningekaa kwangu tu. I'm getting pissed with each minute that passes from my mum chewing me off, mara comparing me to my cousins, ma...
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Don't be so hard

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        I know you are all waiting for Hawkers Jameni, the finale to drop, I'll drop it soon after I drop this. I'm writing this on a holiday, reminiscing about my life. I find myself doing that when I am listening to or after I have listened to music. 

This is music music, not the kind that the Gen Zs are listening to, kufinish kumallo, and other shenanigans. I ain't hating, just saying, I usually say kila nyani na starehe zake. My life has been about the good, the bad, the ugly, throwing the near-death experiences like seasoning to spice it up just a bit. 




The battles I have fought like Jason Statham, some I got my ass handed to me, while other times I unleashed violence I didn't know I had in me on the other attacking party even the devil himself recoiled his tail, poof! out of sight like Manchester United fans after their team gets thrashed mercilessly.

Hehe

Anyway one thing that stood out, to me, is the way I have been so hard on myself. It's ironic because most people who have interacted with me will tell you I am a joker, others who know me too well will think I am bordering dangerously close to mental instability like Mexicans on the US border. 


“Souley, 

wewe hukuwa sawa kweli?” 


Those who know me a bit more will ask. Someone's daughter, a few weeks ago, asked me if I have ADHD. I laughed it off. Let me tell you I have been hard on myself every damn time.




When I miss out on an opportunity, or when a prospective deal falls flat on its face after a considerable time pushing it, or when someone removes you from a gig you could earn some good coins hinting to you that your English belongs in the gutter, and you are infuriated so much that you want to kick that person to oblivion like the way Polio was kicked out of Kenya. 

The funny part is, the abyss of self-pity is just right there waiting, wanting to suck you in completely (mzima mzima) like a black hole if you let it. When I listened to this song, Don't Be So Hard on Yourself by C5 ft Eddie White it resonated with me. 

Let's see if I can catch the lyrics to share with you so you can see what I mean.


Don't be so hard on yourself 

I be talking to myself 

I gotta be my own motivation 

when there ain't nobody else

I can't waste my time

comparing my life

to everybody else

I gotta trust myself than take advice 

from everybody else

Can't be wishing 

what I should've did 

when it's already done


Comments

  1. RukiaMay 17, 2024 at 12:13 AM

    Kwani wewe ni Gen gani bro? I thought you were forty🙂

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Letstoriesunfold™May 17, 2024 at 1:36 AM

      Na fit in kwa generations zote, boomers, generation X, millennials, Gen Z.

      Delete
  2. KahiubrendahMay 20, 2024 at 9:28 AM

    That's deep 🥺

    ReplyDelete
  3. dianMay 25, 2024 at 6:07 PM

    Hihihi finally I got someone who has a point on Gen Z music genge urban tone idk what that shit is overrated I can't keep up. Anyways nice story.

    ReplyDelete

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Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

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