Butwaa!

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   Having friends is great, having stupid friends is better  having diabolical friends? even crazier.                Today I will beat for you hekaya of one of my many bad choices. So Kenya Prisons training takes nine months and there is a mid training visiting and the final graduation known as pass out where the prezo or their mkubwa comes to make lies for promises.  I have a friend called Daudi, who has a girlfriend called Abby, she was the one graduating. Abby has a best friend, Salma, Daudi has a cousin, Daniel, then kuna yours truly. Abby invited Daudi, and Salma. Daudi goes ahead and invites yours truly and Dan. We contacted and met Daudi in tao. We are to meet Salma since hatujuani twende pamoja. My main role in this visit was to prevent the boy from throwing himself in the road and connect to Sayuni, that is if apate serekali imebadilishwa, if you get what I mean. Also to suggest good poisons(liquor), in case things get...

Nyama!


This days, I don't eat meat, be it red, white, or multi colored like an army's gear. 


Reason why? 




Let me take you a few years back. I used to live at Naivas by then, a common hustler in that lakeside estate called Kihoto, kwa mukorino mwisho. Living in a single mabati apartment room posh enough to have a cemented floor. 

When I say hustler, I mean hustler or rather what Mbusii says, “sufferer”. There are people who came through massively for me in my life a lot like Mama Njoki. Mama Njoki had certain a “Villa Rosa Kempinski” kibandaski, near the stage offering, and serving all types of meals. 

At Mama Njoki's place you could even have a pizza if you fancied. 


Let's chill on that for a moment.


Back to the main story, I was a life member at Mama Njoki's, meaning it's where I took all of my meals. I could eat, without a coin to my name because I was trusted.


You are wondering how I pulled it off, 

aren't you?


We used to supply the place with assorted foodstuffs managu (African nightshade) grown in dirty water to roadkill to chicken that had died mysteriously on farms, and that is where my story comes in. 


Aaaah, 

kitanzi sasa!


It was one morning, I was going out there looking for a hustle, until the devil decided to give me an escort. I had left the warm embrace of my blanket and bed early in the morning to try my luck out in the streets.

I was on a two wheeled cycling chopper from a certain friend of mine from Bungoma. My first stop was straight to the “Villa Rosa” 


“Kata katia mimi masikio ng'ombe, 

na uweke stew.”


(Apologies for using a scientific name, what it means is cut for me a few local mandazi made from wheat grinded at a local posho mill, and add some soup.) 


Too bad for me, the meat supplier had delayed, so I had to make due and eat ma capsules (beans) or in layman's terms madondo. I hurriedly ate my breakfast, and hopped on my chopper. You would have seen me, morale up there, it's on the 10th floor. 

From the way I was cycling, you could have felt the power of Mama Njoki. From town, I took the Mai Mahiu road, just right before kwa Fai Amario, I changed route and took south lake road towards Oserian. A few metres ahead of me, I saw black and white stripes. A zebra had stretched out besides the road. 

I said the Lord's prayer and 

the grace combined.

Comments

  1. I used to think these stories about sukuma ya Nairobi being grown on sewerage ni story za jaba until you confirmed everything πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I thought it was a fragment of my imagination kumbe it was true πŸ™‚na vile zilikua green vizuri

    ReplyDelete
  2. What did you do to my dead donkey? 🀣🀣

    ReplyDelete
  3. Now I wanna know what you did to that zebraπŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  4. πŸ˜†πŸ˜†Nyama, nyama, nyama! Ya Zebra?! Nyama!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wee kwani iyo zebra ulifanyaje kwa njia 😹😹

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Find out in the continuation that has dropped today.

      Delete

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