Shimonjero

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  You know those times unasikia ni kama unachizi? Umepanga vitu zako vizuri, from A-Z then everything decides to go tits up kama mende imededi? So recently I was in such a bubble, naona tu Dim.  Nikasema sitachizi niliona, wacha I go see my hombre, Tommie, pale Kach. It's very peaceful place btw. After the first day, we are beating stories after kumaliza shughuli mbili tatu, nothing major, just enough to feel productive without actually being productive.  Out of nowhere, Tommie leans in like he’s about to reveal state secrets. “Btw nilikuwa na mpango na fulani na yule jirani  nilikuwa nataka tupangane.  Si tufike hivyo?” We pull up to Jirani's compound, and the first thing we see? Two cocks. Full chest out. Feathers flying. Pride on the line. These roosters were not playing. This wasn’t a disagreement, this was generational beef. You could tell one of them had been waiting for this moment since childhood. Jamaa sees us and instead of greeting like a normal human...

Visanga za Ambrose.


His office phone and mobile rang almost simultaneously from security guards. He decided to pick up the mobile call first. 

“Boss, 
bibi yako alikuja na wamama kumi, 
wakaingia kwa..." 

The call dropped. The office line rang again.

“Kuna mgeni anasema ni bibi yako,” 

Makori at the gate said. The chairman needed clarification. He told Makori, the guard he never got along with,

“tell her to call me,” 

The house girl called. She had been chased from home by the evil woman and a battalion of women in choir uniform. She was also worried that she couldn't locate her periods either.

The Lady HR was in cahoots with guards to gather intel on who came late and who left early, to reward them accordingly. Makori, her chief snitch, reported about the distressed wife of the Man of God, Ambrose. 




Excited about potential breaking news, she rushed to receive her. Ambrose called the home guard first to get the full incident. 

“Bibi yako, 
amekuja na wamama wa kanisa, 
akafukuza ule mtu wako.” 

They came armed with new utensils, bathroom accessories, and bedding. The master bathroom looked like a rally: colorful yellow, red, green, and orange flags.

He heard they were praying and cleansing the house, his house. First, he chose to deal with matters arising at work. He went to the gate to meet the alleged wife. As he got to the reception, a familiar voice called him out, 

“Hi Ambrose”

It was the HR lady who was seated next to his house girl, who was now sobbing. She said excitedly, with a wicked smile, 

“I didn't know your family has grown. 
You are really a performer, 
on and off work. 
You are indeed a model employee,” 

she hissed. The chairman, Man of God, was lost for words and he lost his balance.

Comments

  1. Mi naona uandike kitu full ndio upost πŸ₯±Mambo ya episodes ni ngumu

    ReplyDelete
  2. Totally sth that needs to be completed banaπŸ™ŒπŸΎπŸ˜©

    ReplyDelete
  3. sarcastic you perfome both on and out of work the episode is amazing

    ReplyDelete

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