Mteja 2

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Let's rewind to 1:00 PM when she had texted:   “Souley,  go to this place in Ngara,  ask for a guy called Musyoka.  He has the samples.  Just call me when you get there,  I’ll guide you.” Simple, right?  Now it’s 2:44. I’m here. I’ve found Musyoka. He’s chewing miraa, eyeing me like I’m slowing down his evening high.   “Oyaa,  niko na samples.  Si useme venye madam alisema.  Ni hizi ama zile?” I freeze. I don’t know. I was told to wait for her instructions. I try to call her again. Mteja. I text. Double tick. No blue. I even WhatsApp call her, desperate moves, you know? Musyoka is now shifting his weight like a man about to disappear. I try calling her again, muttering under my breath,  “This woman will be the end of me.” Then the rain starts. Nairobi rain doesn’t fall, it attacks. Boda guys scatter, hawkers scramble to save their goods, and I’m there, hunched under a mabati shade, holding a phone that won't ring, wit...
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Scrummy.

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The dread I was feeling at that very point in time, it was nerve wrecking. I was at a crossroad deciding whether I should knock and go in and face the music or call it quits with education. Fate has a cruel sense of humor, and I think it got tired of me dilly dallying so before I got a chance to make a decision, he saw me and called out.


“Wewe ndio aisking?”

“Ingia.”

“Very good.”

 “Unasema unataka kukua nani ukiwa mkubwa?”


“Neurosurgeon mwalimu.”


“Hio iko na letter ngapi za alphabet?”


Mr Ogolla was our deputy principal, plus doubling up as the discipline master. His famous Mr Green was a plumbing pipe fitter with cement on the bore and a stroke from that came could give the one unfortunate enough to be on its receiving end a stroke. Its on good authority that I heard that he once stopped a school strike from happening due to everyone's fear of being the sacrificial monkey to be hanged. 

Back to neurologist manenos. Hio siku tulikuwa tunapigiana hekaya pale class na my mates, Lewis, luchera, stano, and not forgetting, mukchu. Unfortunately the class prefect, Oluchina, had seen our fun, gotten jealous and out of envy, surrendered our names as peace destroyers aka noisemakers. I was first in the list and so first on the entrance to hell. 

I replied, knowing war was coming to me whether I liked it or not.

“Iko na letter tisa mwalimu.”


“Wewe!”

“kumbe akili imejaaa tu ugali ya dining hall,”

“andika hapa uhesabu.”


“Wan tuu thirii fo faiv...”

“Twelofu.”

“Nî twelofu mwalimu.”


“Hayaa enda chini.”


I knew resisting was futile at this point and would in turn result in the number of canes to be increased tremendously so I did as I was told as I waited for what was to come as the condemned waits upon their dreaded fate. 

Thwack! 

Thwack! 

Thwack! 

Thwack!

His instrument of punishment, the famous Mr Green, rained down mercilessly over my sitting apparatus over and over again until I lost count. Mr Ogolla, the deputy principal, continued on without seizing, without breaking a sweat, and the pain, heeeh, don't get me started on the pain I felt at that very moment.

As for my friends was the last time any of those four were my deskmates ever. Now that was like how fire is to gold. From then onward, no amount of caning could snap me. I was the kausha as they say, until I met Scrummy.

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