Kamagera

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              In my existence, I have noticed some people are eating life with a big spoon, others like me, life is eating us with big spoons (read spade).  Not so many moons ago I was in a very bad fix, big brain, alot of skills but no paper evidence to match the skill so the people with money think you are a con. Anyway, I had a friend who was a donda (read conductor), I know he makes over 1500 daily because one day he told me, I asked him to link me up to one of the manyangas and he told me, “Si rahisi ni kulink  mimi stakudanganya kama wale uncle wa nyumbani  ati maliza shule nitakueka mahali.”  So he told me about kamagera ( a person who just loads people in a Matatu , and remains.) and their rowdiness. That their survival in nairobi is to be likened to the silverback against 100 men. No mercy. Nikamuuliza, because I want a fishing rod, not the fish itself so as to fend for myself.  So akaniambia you just go to any st...
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Chaos and Mogoka.

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You may or may not believe it, but I used to work in one of the big bus companies for long distance travel in Kenya as a conductor. The two drivers I used to work with, one was called Nduki Moto Makopolo and the other driver was Kata Funua Macharia and our route was from Meru to Mombasa and vice versa.


It was a day like any other, but on this particular day, we bought our daily dose of mgox (mgox is what we used to call Mogoka) from the wrong guy. Huyu alikuwa anakaa elchapo flani sababu he would tell us tunaweza hata nusa hio mgox na stimu zitapanda. 


I assumed that perhaps,

it was the normal salesman hype lakini 

WUEH!




By 1900 hrs tulikuwa Embu. After kuchukua abiria wa Embu, safari ikaanza fiti, tukasema sherehe ianze. Our cockpit was one of its kind, sema kaportable mid speaker with bass abilities, madere wanaelewa. We switched off the passenger’s speakers and the one that was left was our “mziki” speaker.


Nduki Moto had this flash disk that had everything hadi national anthem ya Sahrawi. Bongo ilishika my friend, kamgox kakaleta kesi kwa vichwa, wacha tu. By 2230 hrs tulikuwa Nairobi na taxin size ya side mirror. Within a few minutes, we were cleared to continue the rest of the journey. Kata Funua took over from Nduki Moto. Kata Funua was faster than Nduki Moto but the mgox was faster than all of us. 


At around 0030 hrs just before we reached Emali, tukaskia PPSSHHH! The front left tire had just gotten a puncture. Ile cooperation hii team hukuwa nayo tukiwa handas, warass pekee ndio wanaeza kueleza. Tukaamua kupangana duties before tushuke. 


Tukaelewana nikishuka naenda kutoa spare kwa boot, Nduki Moto naye ashuke na jeki Kata Funua naye aseti chini, kufungua ni in turns. Hatungetaka kukatisha handas so we decided kuvuta speaker hadi kwa kioo tukule ngoma tukibadilisha tyre. 




By the time tumesaidiana kuvuta speaker na kuiseti vizuri, we had already forgotten the roles tulipeana. So kama conductor mzuri nikaamua kuchukua jeki na chuma yake, Nduki Moto on his way down, akachukua key boot, akatoa spare tyre na akafunga boot. 


Kushuka nikampokeza Kata Funua jeki akaiseti na tukaanza kazi. We did it in turns as we had agreed, kama si turn yako unaketi hapo kando ya Nduki Moto tukikula ngoma na mastori full handas. After around 10 minutes tyre ilikuwa chini, Kata Funua akanigeukia na, 


“unangoja firimbi ndyo utoe spare kwa boot?” 


Sema kuchangamka chapchap na kuendea keyboot ndyo nitoe spare. Kufungua boot, napata spare hakuna, cheesos! 


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