Waswa

-
Image
 In my days of service I had this friend called Waswa. He was way older than me, like 3 years older but tulikua tume enlist na yeye and we found ourselves sharing a barrack cube. Tulikua 4 in 1 cube. One night while we were off duty, he told me why he joined the military. Waswa was in JKUAT, Juja campus, and he was having some sort of entanglement with his schoolmate, a pretty petite lass called Syombua.  Our boy Waswa was the one visiting her because he was in a shared hostel. Waswa’s pretty lass, Syombua, lived in Weiteithie, in a well furnished apartment. Their relationship was like 3 or 4 months old but Waswa had received all sorts of treatment. From slices to the other slices, I know you know, and if you don't, jokes on you.  Kijana in his mind assumed that the lady came from a seriously loaded family. Makosaa. Sasa one Friday Waswa as usual goes for a sleepover knowing atakula vizuri pande zote. They enjoy the night and netflix as usual until they heard, “Fungua hap...
2 comments

Chaos and Mogoka.

-


You may or may not believe it, but I used to work in one of the big bus companies for long distance travel in Kenya as a conductor. The two drivers I used to work with, one was called Nduki Moto Makopolo and the other driver was Kata Funua Macharia and our route was from Meru to Mombasa and vice versa.


It was a day like any other, but on this particular day, we bought our daily dose of mgox (mgox is what we used to call Mogoka) from the wrong guy. Huyu alikuwa anakaa elchapo flani sababu he would tell us tunaweza hata nusa hio mgox na stimu zitapanda. 


I assumed that perhaps,

it was the normal salesman hype lakini 

WUEH!




By 1900 hrs tulikuwa Embu. After kuchukua abiria wa Embu, safari ikaanza fiti, tukasema sherehe ianze. Our cockpit was one of its kind, sema kaportable mid speaker with bass abilities, madere wanaelewa. We switched off the passenger’s speakers and the one that was left was our “mziki” speaker.


Nduki Moto had this flash disk that had everything hadi national anthem ya Sahrawi. Bongo ilishika my friend, kamgox kakaleta kesi kwa vichwa, wacha tu. By 2230 hrs tulikuwa Nairobi na taxin size ya side mirror. Within a few minutes, we were cleared to continue the rest of the journey. Kata Funua took over from Nduki Moto. Kata Funua was faster than Nduki Moto but the mgox was faster than all of us. 


At around 0030 hrs just before we reached Emali, tukaskia PPSSHHH! The front left tire had just gotten a puncture. Ile cooperation hii team hukuwa nayo tukiwa handas, warass pekee ndio wanaeza kueleza. Tukaamua kupangana duties before tushuke. 


Tukaelewana nikishuka naenda kutoa spare kwa boot, Nduki Moto naye ashuke na jeki Kata Funua naye aseti chini, kufungua ni in turns. Hatungetaka kukatisha handas so we decided kuvuta speaker hadi kwa kioo tukule ngoma tukibadilisha tyre. 




By the time tumesaidiana kuvuta speaker na kuiseti vizuri, we had already forgotten the roles tulipeana. So kama conductor mzuri nikaamua kuchukua jeki na chuma yake, Nduki Moto on his way down, akachukua key boot, akatoa spare tyre na akafunga boot. 


Kushuka nikampokeza Kata Funua jeki akaiseti na tukaanza kazi. We did it in turns as we had agreed, kama si turn yako unaketi hapo kando ya Nduki Moto tukikula ngoma na mastori full handas. After around 10 minutes tyre ilikuwa chini, Kata Funua akanigeukia na, 


“unangoja firimbi ndyo utoe spare kwa boot?” 


Sema kuchangamka chapchap na kuendea keyboot ndyo nitoe spare. Kufungua boot, napata spare hakuna, cheesos! 


Comments

Post a Comment

Is a pleasure to keep you as my reader entertained. Peace✌️

Popular posts from this blog

Death at a funeral, the interrogation.

-
Image
Continued from..   Death at a funeral I’m no wolverine who could heal quickly from a stab wound so I didn’t want to take my chances with the knife. As the rough and husky man directed me on where to go, I noticed it was like time had stood still, with chaos beautifully painted. I explored my choices on how to get out of this predicament, and boy! They didn’t look at all great, most of them all pointed to one end result, 6ft under. Except one, I was to act a fool. That is what I went with, to buy myself some time to figure how to get out of this ordeal and never have to look over my shoulder or be paranoid when I’m with someone’s daughter wondering, is she the means they have used to get to me?  Ever heard of the Samson and Delilah story? We reach at the car, at the very end of the field. A black Chevy, beautiful with a sleek paint job and design, and the door pops open. “Utleast you idiots have class,” is the last thing I say before I’m roughly shoved in, the rough and husky...
Continue...

Cloud 9 , what's next?

-
Image
Then she melted into the crowd. She took a while then nikacheki kuna dame yuko solo kwa corner nikasema nifike hivyo nimpee company. Huyo dame alinisho anaitwa Alicia.  Kuendelea kubonga nikarealize kumbe alikuwa anaogopa. Alikuwa ametag along na friend yake ndio asiboeke kwa hao akiwa pekee yake.  Nikamweka at ease na convo ingine fiti sana akanijenga no incase tupoteanwe tutafutana then we talked some more then Steph akatokea.  Akacheka then akaniita nimfuate. Madem na wivu bana  😂😂  Steph aliona ana compe.. Mimi huyo nikidhani Steph amepata plug wa sth sth iko na sweet aroma tufike cloud nine nayo.  Kufika to some secluded place anatoa some pills. Kumuuliza ni nini ananichapia ati molly. Akaextend mkono anipitishie nikakataa. “Shauri yako”   akasema then akameza.After a while niliona ameanza kuwa handsy.. “Huyu anataka ku unleash the beast”  Nilijiuliza kimoyomoyo.Kiasi kiasi nacheki mjamaa akikam ile corner tulikuwa. Nikajua baaas.. Huyu ni...
Continue...

Back to the basics.

-
Image
Nimeona picture kwa meme fulani, ikanipeleka tour down memory lane. Many moons ago, nikiwa primary. Nikitaja ilikuwa how many years ago, mtaniona ka mmoja wa wale wahenga mlikuwa mnaandika kwa kwa insha, ati, wahenga hawakupaka mafuta kwa mgongo wa chupa waliponena... 😅😅😅 Kulikuwa na hii stuff ilikuwa primary, ndio ukuwe unaongea kizungu, ulikuwa unakuwa punished psychologically ukiongea na mother tongue, kiswahili or the language of the streets, sheng. Except siku moja yenye mngekuwa exempted kuongea whichever language you fancy. Mental punishment depended on which time era you were in. For yours truly, ilikuwa kuvaa bling bling ya mfupa ingine kubwa. Yours truly, hajaanza kupiga story sahii, like B.I.G. nilikuwa notorious but upande wa kuongea. Hakuna siku nikiwahi kosa kwa list ya noisemakers, na siku sikuwa nimeongea labda nilikuwa mgonjwa. Most people walikuwa wana detest kuvaa hio bling bling, ju ya aibu ilikuwa associated with it, so msee alikuwa anakuwekea mtego, uongee tu l...
Continue...

Miss Anonymous 2

-
Image
  Continued from here-->>  Miss Anonymous Ju ya kuwa street smart kiasi tu, niliweza kutoka kuwa mgeni wa serikali bila kesi kuwa ngori. Vile natoka though, weeeh! Nanuka, niko mchafu, usingizi, kitu nataka ni kufika tu kejani nioge, nipite kwa mathe nikule, nilale. Nafika hivi ploti, watoto wa jirani wakinicheki wanahepa tu wakilia, kwani nakaa mnyama nini? Wamama wa ploti, najua wameshapata story mpya na mimi, but haidhuru, watabonga kisha watalala. Venye nimeshiba, napiga shower nitoe stench na misuli inyooke kidogo kisha nalala. Nastukia mlango inabishwa, kuangalia saa ni saa kumi na moja jioni. Weeh, nimelala kama maiti za pale Chiromo.😅 Kumbe ni arif yangu Timo, na venye nilikuwa nimejitayarisha na maneno nikidhani ni landlord. 😅😅 Namfungulia mlango aingie, but anaingia akiniuliza nimepotelea wapi, ati amekuwa akinitafuta siku kadhaa.  Nikienda kuona venye nitamjibu, ghafla bin vuu, simu inalia. Kuenda kucheki ni nani anapiga, nastukia ni ule Miss Anonymous...
Continue...