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Nòî

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On another episode of: things that never happened, or did they? Saturday or Sunday, many many many moons ago. I used to go to the bafu na towel pekee always wondering how women always walked around in skirts. So after showering it was free mode mpaka kejani. Kwa buloti, it was a communal bathroom so you had to carry your bucket. Na ukipata mtu yuko ndani, unapanga laini. On this particular day nilikuwa nimechemsha maji niko ready kuingia kwa bafu, jirani beat me to the bathroom by seconds. I left my bucket full of warm water hapo nikiwa frustrated then nikaingia kejani kutime akitoka, naruka ndani. Asubuhi gets chilly so you can't just hang around there waiting ukiwa kifua iko nje, umejifunga towel pekee. Akamaliza nikaskia mlango yake imefunga, nikakimbia bafu fasta fasta maji yangu isipoe, ingepoa ingekuwa balaa. Kumbe she was not yet done, alikua ameacha karai yake na maji hapo ndani arudi kuosha kifuniko. Mimi naye nokatoa hio basin nje nikaingia kwa bafu, this is not ...
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Marej

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        I always tell my Gs, time and time again, to be careful, hawanisiki kabsaa, wanaona ni kama mimi ni matako yao, nilipigwa heartbreak ya kimataifa, or worse, ni kama nachukia wanawake.  Otis, with his heart set on a future bright and unmarred by past shadows, was on the cusp of a new dawn. His wedding to Julia was mere days away, scheduled for a radiant Sunday where love was supposed to renew itself in the eyes of God and man.  Preparations were in full swing, or at least, they would have been.  Instead, Julia, the bride-to-be, had her heart, mind and soul  elsewhere.  She chose adventure over duty, opting for a road trip and camping escapade with her friends, leaving Otis to navigate the chaotic waters of wedding planning alone. The absence of his partner in these crucial moments was felt like a void, but Otis held onto the belief that love was about understanding and patience. However, patience was tested when, in a twist of modern-...
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Mapenz 2

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For the previous story,  click here. Mapenz 1   Cleaned up real nice,  wacha tu!  Ungeniona ningekukunywa like those thirsty people kwa Ads za Sprite, au kama vampire, wenye sisi huona kwa movies, that is if, wewe ni dame.  Nikapiga perfume yangu vizuri, when you smell nice, confidence hukuwa mia kwa mia. Mimi huyo, najisikia, ego iko overflowing, naenda hadi stage, nipande mat, niingie tao.  Nikiwa kwa njia naona venye siku itakuwa tu vibes on vibes with someone's daughter. On the previous day, tulikuwa tume elewana tunapatana saa nne. Nilikuwa hapo by 9, hapo I&M towers. An understocked tuskys, not far away from my position, nikapatana na madam anauza maua akasema  “si ushukurie mpens hisi mauwa,  atazipenda” Nikasema why not? Mimi bazenga niko hapo na maua waiting for the princess Hadija. So ikafika 10 nikasema wacha ningoje kidogo, 11 ikafika nikiwa nimesimama hapo kama mti, najiconsole tu, anakuja, ni jam imemchelewisha. Hapo naona most ...
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Mapenz

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  February, love, valentine, flowers, catfish. I remember after the first month of 2008, long ago when there were just eight buildings in Nairobi being called skyscrapers, there was real love.  Young ones, I am that ancient. Yours truly had a young beautiful chille in college. This was way before touch screen phones, sorry, android phones were invented or introduced into the country or the world, and BlackBerry phones reigned supreme, followed closely by Nokia. They were the only status brand. Achana na nyinyi mnashindana na Vivo, Iphone 16+, Samsung Galaxy sth. Kitambo, Blackberry was the baddie of phones.  Right now, I know you may be asking yourself,  why is this relevant?  Well I didn't have a blackberry, but I had a ka sony ericsson. A phone worth having on all the dates and events I was in. So here comes January, I meet this fine yellow yellow and I know this will either be on my menu one time or full time. Either I date her for a short while, or I marry h...
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Shwaaaa!

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            The sun was freaking hot and the sun had no issues baking y'all, ndio at least muive. I remember November December 2018 vividly, like it was yesterday. It was so freaking hot that ungejimwagilia maji kwa mgongo ingelia kama venye maji kwa sufuria moto hulia, shwaaaaa.  Anyway, I know the devil is next to you whispering in a smooth convincing tone, “enda swimming sahii,  kuna joto” Before you go, chill and lemme tell you about my first ever swimming expedition. Growing up, I was learning about useless stuff like insect anatomy and how the international space station works. So I missed out on childhood happiness like duff mpararo (I have only one experience) and bike races.  Back then I was 20 and somewhere in Machakos county with my gang, a place where there is a wide river that crosses our location. My whole gang is aware that I do not know the skill of fish. After all, fish do not know how to walk  (nisiskie mtu akitaja vill...
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