Letstoriesunfold ™

    The first time I bought a skirt, I did not intend to buy a skirt. Lakini, I bought  skirts and crop tops. I did not even have a girlfriend. Or at least a girlfriend that could fit those sizes. Sasa, I was coming from Gwa Kairu, a place somewhere in Ruiru. We had a project there. This was the intervening period between college and the banking job. So, as you might have correctly guessed, I was an internal designer. Let me explain, interior designers know what they are paid to do. Some have even gone to school to learn their craft. Then there is us, internal designers, we are not the same. Us we rely on the mercy of God to complete projects.  In Kikuyu we say, “tuturagio ni kuiyumia.” Remember Fred Gumo?  His slogan?  Kaa ngumu.  That is how we did our jobs.  Baas, we got to Githurai, hapo kwa roundabout. I think when Angel Gabriel finally blows the tarumbeta, he will be near Githurai. It is there that he is sure many people will hear it at the...

Eeeeeeeei, umewahi kuwa kwa situation serious, but unacheka tu ju situation iko na humor kiplan? Hio ndio situation nilikuwa, mbavu zikiwa zinauma ju ya kucheka. Alafu kitu inaifanya funny zaidi, ni huyu msee hacheki akikusho story. Jameni, huyu kwani alikuwa anataka niende kwa baba ju kidogo nilikuwa na wheeze ju ya kusahau kupumua? Hold up,  wacha tuanze story vizuri sasa. Nilikuwa nimechill pale mtaani, siku ilikuwa refu ajab, job plus kudeal na corporate office politics ina drain msee kuliko hii serikali ya zakayo. Anyway, nimechill tu kwa kiti, najaribu kushikilia my virtual social life na kuchat pale X aka Twitter na green app. The next thing nastukia ni simu inalia na iko kwa floor. Najua tu phone ilislip kwa mkono venye nilianza kudoze. Nachukua phone kucheki, ni nani huyu ananivutia simu saa kumi na moja ya asubuhi ikiwa imebakisha dakika ishirini. Kuangalia tu simu hivi, kumbe ni arif wangu fulani anaitwa Simiyu ananivutia. Nashangaa ni nini mbaya inaweza kuwa ime happen ...

When Julie confirmed that we were good to go for a date, I never could have imagined it could be in a hospital. I glanced at the wall clock, it was fast approaching 7 P.m. The weather was not friendly at all out here and worst of it I never thought of carrying my cardigan and now I was shivering so much that she had to give me her hood.  I was looking lambistic as fuck, all this trouble for just a girl. I had my day mapped out well. Being a weekend I could have gone out with my buddies but then I got a text from my supposedly date that she was finishing up on her shift and I could pick her from work. Julie has been on my radar for quite sometime and she always seemed slippery but now that an opportunity had availed itself,  I thought why not? Little did I know, how things could take a twist. “Is she out yet?” I intercepted a nurse coming from the operating room. She just nodded a big no, went about her own way, and I criss crossed my legs waiting patiently. I could have go...

The dread I was feeling at that very point in time, it was nerve wrecking. I was at a crossroad deciding whether I should knock and go in and face the music or call it quits with education. Fate has a cruel sense of humor, and I think it got tired of me dilly dallying so before I got a chance to make a decision, he saw me and called out. “Wewe ndio aisking?” “Ingia.” “Very good.”  “Unasema unataka kukua nani ukiwa mkubwa?” “Neurosurgeon mwalimu.” “Hio iko na letter ngapi za alphabet?” Mr Ogolla was our deputy principal, plus doubling up as the discipline master. His famous Mr Green was a plumbing pipe fitter with cement on the bore and a stroke from that came could give the one unfortunate enough to be on its receiving end a stroke.  Its on good authority that I heard that he once stopped a school strike from happening due to everyone's fear of being the sacrificial monkey to be hanged.  Back to neurologist manenos. Hio siku tulikuwa tunapigiana hekaya pale class na my ma...