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Showing posts from January, 2026

Shimonjero

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  You know those times unasikia ni kama unachizi? Umepanga vitu zako vizuri, from A-Z then everything decides to go tits up kama mende imededi? So recently I was in such a bubble, naona tu Dim.  Nikasema sitachizi niliona, wacha I go see my hombre, Tommie, pale Kach. It's very peaceful place btw. After the first day, we are beating stories after kumaliza shughuli mbili tatu, nothing major, just enough to feel productive without actually being productive.  Out of nowhere, Tommie leans in like he’s about to reveal state secrets. “Btw nilikuwa na mpango na fulani na yule jirani  nilikuwa nataka tupangane.  Si tufike hivyo?” We pull up to Jirani's compound, and the first thing we see? Two cocks. Full chest out. Feathers flying. Pride on the line. These roosters were not playing. This wasn’t a disagreement, this was generational beef. You could tell one of them had been waiting for this moment since childhood. Jamaa sees us and instead of greeting like a normal human...
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Mteja 2

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Let's rewind to 1:00 PM when she had texted:   “Souley,  go to this place in Ngara,  ask for a guy called Musyoka.  He has the samples.  Just call me when you get there,  I’ll guide you.” Simple, right?  Now it’s 2:44. I’m here. I’ve found Musyoka. He’s chewing miraa, eyeing me like I’m slowing down his evening high.   “Oyaa,  niko na samples.  Si useme venye madam alisema.  Ni hizi ama zile?” I freeze. I don’t know. I was told to wait for her instructions. I try to call her again. Mteja. I text. Double tick. No blue. I even WhatsApp call her, desperate moves, you know? Musyoka is now shifting his weight like a man about to disappear. I try calling her again, muttering under my breath,  “This woman will be the end of me.” Then the rain starts. Nairobi rain doesn’t fall, it attacks. Boda guys scatter, hawkers scramble to save their goods, and I’m there, hunched under a mabati shade, holding a phone that won't ring, wit...
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Mteja.

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  8:23 am.   It's a few days after Christmas, unajua hizo siku zenye uko autopilot tu, waiting for 31st, upige nduru yako safi, or light up fireworks? It's the 30th, you would think nimetulia, at peace ju niko home, wrong! My mum ananipigia msomo on and on. I want to tell her, it's too early for this bana, chill! Najua nikiongea tu hivi, itakuwa a full blown argument, so I let her be. She is talking about stuff like mbona hauna bibi na watoto sahii?  She goes, nini unangoja? Angalia fulani, si mko age moja? Watu age yako wako na boma already! Tangu umalize campus, sijaona pahali hio masomo imekusaidia… She goes on and on chewing me off. In my head niko zile za Get back get back, you don't know me like that, talking a whole lotta shit I ain't trying to hear.  At that point, I even started regretting mbona nilishow up at home, at all, ningekaa kwangu tu. I'm getting pissed with each minute that passes from my mum chewing me off, mara comparing me to my cousins, ma...
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Jirani chronicles

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              So I'm just chilling at my crib, I decided to call my G huwa namuita anko, (don’t ask why, story for another day because that story needs a whole episode on its own), tuonge tupange ma one two. Hata hatujaongea sana, nasikia my door ina gongwa gongwa na vurugu. Na pause kiasi.  You know that moment where your spirit steps out of your body for a second to peep through the curtain before you do? Yeah, that one. Na hang up call with my G, saa hio nashangaa ni nani huyu ananitafuta na fujo hivi? Naenda kuangalia, alafu nifungue, nijue how it will go down ie kama kutakuwa na throwing of fists. Kuangalia tu hivi, ni three burly men, wamekula chuma wakashiba ka crocodile imemeza wildebeest mzima time huwa zina cross River Mara Na tense kiasi, but najipiga kifua nilikuambia kama mbaya mbaya! Nafungua mlango nijue venye kutaenda, wananicheki hivi, design wanarudi chini then wako zile za  “Pole.” One of them turns to the rest anawaambia...
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