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Showing posts from June, 2025

Ni mbayaa!

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                 It was one of those days, there I was chilling after some hectic shughuli, just trying to catch my breath, nangoja mat ijae itoke stage nifike mtaa. I spot this girl amekaa kando yangu holding a water bottle, and it was like ¾ full. I was feeling a little thirsty, ok, maybe more than a little.  I say hi to her, Namsho design jua imenikaranga kama mimi ni kitunguu, na venye naskia ulimi imekauka, wacha tu. Si mnaelewa hii joto imekuwa recently? I go ahead and ask her if she would mind giving me a sip of her water?  It seems to me like she doesn't mind my request, because she passes her water bottle over to me. I'm like, I can finally quench my thirst. I take one big sip, and immediately regret it… aiyo!  My tongue is like sandpaper. Naenda kutema, naona kanjo ndio huyo, ananingoja niteme tu hivi, ashuke, na ashine na mimi proper! Inabidi tu nimemeza shingo upande. Ikiteremka naskia ni kama my throat is hosting ...

Kamagera

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              In my existence, I have noticed some people are eating life with a big spoon, others like me, life is eating us with big spoons (read spade).  Not so many moons ago I was in a very bad fix, big brain, alot of skills but no paper evidence to match the skill so the people with money think you are a con. Anyway, I had a friend who was a donda (read conductor), I know he makes over 1500 daily because one day he told me, I asked him to link me up to one of the manyangas and he told me, “Si rahisi ni kulink  mimi stakudanganya kama wale uncle wa nyumbani  ati maliza shule nitakueka mahali.”  So he told me about kamagera ( a person who just loads people in a Matatu , and remains.) and their rowdiness. That their survival in nairobi is to be likened to the silverback against 100 men. No mercy. Nikamuuliza, because I want a fishing rod, not the fish itself so as to fend for myself.  So akaniambia you just go to any st...

Damn!

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              Nilikuwa pahali, before this guy, Albert Ojwang, akujiwe kushikwa na apelekwe Sayun na the stupid pigs in uniform.  May Albert Ojwang's family get justice.  Letstoriesunfold  truly empathizes with his family.  Tulikuwa tumeketi place fulani, kwa kikao. You know those kawaida catch-up vibes? There was food, drinks, at a place where the ambience is just right. Grown-up talk. Everyone just dropping life stories, big plans, a couple of throwbacks being tossed around, mini politics tukiitana,  “Hi cousin.” Tukiwa tumeisha mbaya sana, after tumelimana banters back to back. Then out of nowhere, in the middle of a chill convo about life and adulting, this beautiful petite lady — calm voice, radiant smile — anasema,   “By the way,  2010 nilikuwa Class One.” Kila kitu ilisimama. Sips stopped mid-air. Laughter froze. Someone even coughed in shock.   CLASS ONE?  2010? Nikachora quick mental math...