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Showing posts from June, 2023

Butwaa! 2

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Any mlevi reading this knows that hio mkojo ndio ime hold back kuzima ziii. So Liz takes her to a nearby washroom, and when she comes back, her legs seem to have forgotten their function, you know, like holding the body weight and supporting locomotion. Miguu zake ziko jelly jelly. So she just says,  "ebu mnishikilie kiasi"  That, my friends, was the last time I saw her standing. Her eyes shut, her mouth failed the speaking test, and she just fell into our hands. Visiting hours zimeisha, amevaa uniform, tuko in a location civilian hawafai kukuwa. Trouble was brewing like the water we just drank. We tell Liz juu pia yeye ako na uniform aende akuje na help as we try to make her vomit and pour water on her. Waapi!  Liz alienda na simu yake and the clothes we had brought. Mpaka leo 11 years later hajawai rudi. We are there for 30 mins and catch the radar: civilians on government land. A whistle is blown, and close to 40 officers are on scene in a minute. Zilishuka mpaka nikak...
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Brr..🥶

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Where I am from,  July is known as the fridge month.  So this time June has been as cold as July and I haven't heard of global cooling yet. So I don't understand the temperature. Anyway this cold weather brings or has always brought together pairs of animal species like the times of Noah, mostly humans.  For me though, this cold season evokes very different memories not of cuddles or bonfires. So I trained with the NYS naivasha camp and let me tell you, Naivasha is the confusing cold and dry we were learning in social studies. In the camps you wake up before dawn breaks. At 3am everyone has been awake for half an hour, it's dark and cold, fatigue sticks to you like a shadow but you must keep going, after all you don't have any choice.  Everyone has a duty to carry out in the camp and I was among those tasked with washing the slabs around the barracks. This is how it goes, you get a bucket of water and you have to use the water as you wish as long as the slabs ...
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Krest kubwa baridi.

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Leo ilikuwa ile siku yours truly aliamua kutoka heaven kuja earth na ile line ya..  🎶kuna mahali nafaa kwenda na ni sahii🎶 I decided to chill today listening to some music i.e. All my life by Lil Durk and love yourz by J Cole, and just meditating on how far I have come and how far I intend to go when I remembered something quite hilarious. Somewhere in mid 2019, I thought I was pregnant.  It was before I met Jesus. Which means, I had met someone that was not Jesus the previous night and engaged in some co curricular activities which were pleasurable, but at some point had me huffing and puffing like the wolf in the three little pigs and sweaty.  Which also means that person was beautiful, and attractive like a bad decision in your twenties and was not of Jesus' gender. I woke up with a bad case of morning sickness. I know it was morning sickness because it came in the morning. I only wanted to take Krest.  Krest kubwa baridi.  It was a wintry Monday in Meru. F...
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Ma thigh😁

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On Christmas day of 2021, I was in downtown Nairobi to pick something, don't ask what. Somewhere close to a river, and bridge, and one old tree. Old as time itself.  Off the main drag of this hubbub is Nairobi.  The road there was wet, potholed, muddy, and puddled. The bars are small, with net curtains fastened to small full water bottles on one end. The bars there are noisy. Plus the noise there is vulgar. And the vulgar-ness is eternal.  It keeps going. It keeps germinating. It keeps growing. It keeps shooting at you with,  “How can they say that in public?” That place had also another resident fame.  Thighs!  Let me tell you, beloved reader, there is a place in this city where thighs are big and expansive, well-oiled, and willing to see the outside. Standing thighs, seated thighs. One thigh on top of another thigh thighs. You will see thighs emerge from doors behind unholy darkness.  Daytime darkness. Thighs that look like they have grown under a gr...
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