Posts

Showing posts from June, 2023

Stories from the banking hall

Image
  People out here are angry, really angry. I know this is no way to start a story, but relax it's heading somewhere, I promise. It's a chilly morning and I'm at a bank waiting for my turn to be served, service yao ilikuwa imeanza kusumbua from Monday, but hey, that's a story for another time. I could feel like I was a bit out of place, you know? because the last time I remember I was in a bank was many years ago, when I was on campus, paying for my fees. Mzazi aliniamia bana, alijua ningepata guts, temptations za kukula fee ingekam, ningejua venye ningeilipa. So where was I?  Oh yes, there is this guy who is seated like 2 or three seats away from me, bigger and older than me from the looks of it, looks like a business man, or in lay man terms jamaa wa madeals. After a few minutes waiting, he starts getting impatient, and frustrated so he starts complaining, why is the service taking so long, can't they go a little faster, and so on and so forth.  I'm seated ther...

Brr..🥶

Image
Where I am from,  July is known as the fridge month.  So this time June has been as cold as July and I haven't heard of global cooling yet. So I don't understand the temperature. Anyway this cold weather brings or has always brought together pairs of animal species like the times of Noah, mostly humans.  For me though, this cold season evokes very different memories not of cuddles or bonfires. So I trained with the NYS naivasha camp and let me tell you, Naivasha is the confusing cold and dry we were learning in social studies. In the camps you wake up before dawn breaks. At 3am everyone has been awake for half an hour, it's dark and cold, fatigue sticks to you like a shadow but you must keep going, after all you don't have any choice.  Everyone has a duty to carry out in the camp and I was among those tasked with washing the slabs around the barracks. This is how it goes, you get a bucket of water and you have to use the water as you wish as long as the slabs ...

Krest kubwa baridi.

Image
Leo ilikuwa ile siku yours truly aliamua kutoka heaven kuja earth na ile line ya..  🎶kuna mahali nafaa kwenda na ni sahii🎶 I decided to chill today listening to some music i.e. All my life by Lil Durk and love yourz by J Cole, and just meditating on how far I have come and how far I intend to go when I remembered something quite hilarious. Somewhere in mid 2019, I thought I was pregnant.  It was before I met Jesus. Which means, I had met someone that was not Jesus the previous night and engaged in some co curricular activities which were pleasurable, but at some point had me huffing and puffing like the wolf in the three little pigs and sweaty.  Which also means that person was beautiful, and attractive like a bad decision in your twenties and was not of Jesus' gender. I woke up with a bad case of morning sickness. I know it was morning sickness because it came in the morning. I only wanted to take Krest.  Krest kubwa baridi.  It was a wintry Monday in Meru. F...

Ma thigh😁

Image
On Christmas day of 2021, I was in downtown Nairobi to pick something, don't ask what. Somewhere close to a river, and bridge, and one old tree. Old as time itself.  Off the main drag of this hubbub is Nairobi.  The road there was wet, potholed, muddy, and puddled. The bars are small, with net curtains fastened to small full water bottles on one end. The bars there are noisy. Plus the noise there is vulgar. And the vulgar-ness is eternal.  It keeps going. It keeps germinating. It keeps growing. It keeps shooting at you with,  “How can they say that in public?” That place had also another resident fame.  Thighs!  Let me tell you, beloved reader, there is a place in this city where thighs are big and expansive, well-oiled, and willing to see the outside. Standing thighs, seated thighs. One thigh on top of another thigh thighs. You will see thighs emerge from doors behind unholy darkness.  Daytime darkness. Thighs that look like they have grown under a gr...