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Hawkers Jameni IV

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This is a continuation from  Hawker Jameni III            Why would they place such important things so distant from one another? I wondered. I ran up the next flight of stairs, knocking down a couple of mannequins. After asking yet another attendant, she pointed to the changing booths at the far end of the floor.  I limped into the changing room and shut the door. I quickly chucked the shorts and stretched one rubber band, slid one foot into it and rolled it up to my thigh. I then tucked my homo erectus and held it against one thigh with the band.  The bands were quite small and tight, the poor quality has a low elasticity so I added another one and walked out, like a normal human being – relieved- albeit with a slight limp. The bands were a little tight and uncomfortable but they were better than a dangling deek in public. I was so relieved that as I walked down the stairs, I confidently saluted an attendant who was redressing the mannequin...

What if?

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The previous few weeks had been draining. I don't want to get into details, but bad things, one after another, kept on happening, and all you could say is Yarabi, shake that tree, let the bastard fall, and fall hard!  Anyway, bad things happening back to back might make your blood boil in anger, or you sink in a deep hole of anguish and despair. I decided to go chill with someone's daughter for a while.  You know, the good old Netflix & chill. There I was, arriving at someone's daughter's residence, having scrutinized all exit points in case shit hits the fan or as the layman says, (incase kanuke), and I got the chance to bounce real quick. Having done the necessary, and layed out a plan in my head in case things go south, I knocked on her door.  I had informed her prior to coming, and she had given me the go ahead to come, but it never hurts to be prepared, you never know. She opens the door, and I can't help but laugh. She is in a minions themed onesie, lookin...

Baddies in maandamano

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  “How can you teargas,  a  Baddie?” Most protests or as the citizens aka criminals like to call it, maandamano features a big percentage men, plus if there were any ladies at all, most had a huge resemblance to the men themselves.  It all started with the public learning about the mischief that the members of Parliament were cooking up, thinking no one was looking, thinking that no one would give a hoot.  They thought business was as usual, that Kenyans were focused on other things like fornicating like a certain cabinet minister caught red handed with someone's wife abroad, or night life or as the force that has been terrifying politicians, the Gen Z call it, sherehe, and other trivial matters.  As soon as the public learnt of this mischief by the members of Parliament, a rallying call for each member of the public to call and tell their representative to stop with their madness and do away with the mischief that they were cooking up. Did the elected repr...

Liar!

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New month, new day, but najua mmeamka na hasira mbaya sana. Inaeleweka, how much tolerance for lies can people handle? Nilikuwa nikuwe on a break from storytelling, chanting viva with my comrades in the streets, inhaling the price of freedom, aka teargas. It all started with rejecting the finance bill, arrogance pushed some to be in denial, while others tried squashing it with gaslighting but it has now evolved, now the ones who were chest-thumping, arrogant, are squirming in the seats. Yesterday evening, took me way back.  Pulled a memory deep from my subconscious. Hayaa, the story goes like this. Many, many moons ago, I was in primary with this ninja, scruffy-looking, short dude. He was in all sorts of mischief but one thing that stood out from him was his tenacity to spin a lie. Damn!  That ninja could lie while looking at you dead straight in your eye without skipping a heartbeat. I thought I would have met the last of people who could lie shamelessly like that, life could...