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Showing posts from August, 2022

Boss, unaweza ingia WhatsApp kidogo?

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                               There I was, doing wahenga proud, you know when they say atafutaye hachoki? I'm there looking for clients to deliver quality, and get paid. So I spot a gig, while I'm looking at the brief, I realize there’s no way I could show up and execute it. I don't bite what I can't chew, so me being me, I decided to hand the gig over to Prof.  Not to seem like I'm gassing him up, but Prof si mtu wa mchezo. legendary guy. Kazi safi, anajua mambo, alafu ni mtu wa heshima. So I link him up with the client for the gig, then quickly texted him,  “kaka,  kuna shughuli hapa nimekuplug.” An hour later, Prof replies with a long ass text. You know it's real when someone types a text yenye kidogo inakaa manuscript ya kupeleka publishing. He goes: “Vipi bazu. Thanks man.   2 months ago, Lorry yangu ililima gari ya wenyewe  Nikakimbizwa sana since insurance ilikua kachap...

No cap

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 In my loneliness  I have been thinking about houses Big flat roofs away in an island Big flamboyant tv sets in every room Big kitchen with a huge fridge filled with Beef  Big cars in the parking lot Everyday I pull up  in a different branded buggati Black sun glasses not to bounce off sun's rays But to erase my sadness from people's thoughts when they look into my pupils Big buggy army coat nude chest outside  They will say I am living my life the life What they will never know is... I am hiding  behind someone  who is believed to be me Big payslip Armed to the the tooth  with G bags in a back pack A 'Big' mini bar is my heaven  Whisky Angels keep shouting to me Hallelujah Black KEG on a cylinder  right beside my Big Bed of Roses I would remain drunk  for as long as I live For the soul purpose of escaping reality Vast collection of Poetry anthologies on my library Huge chunks of cash st ashed in my pocket  just incase I need t...

Muosho mmoja

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Eeeei! Eeeei!  The memory came to me fresh of how I had done just that, when I looked into the faces of Manchester United fans before the game had even started the way they had beaten their chest with pride and ego that they will win the opening game.  Boy! Were their faces a joy to look at, I kid you not, after being thrashed and handled properly by Brighton, each retreating to one's place sulking and silenced by the first defeat of the season. As I look back to the time I’m about to narrate to you I can’t help but chuckle and smile. At that point in time, I was a young blood, fresh from high school, with a few hairs on my chinny chin, a dashing face, and a ferocious appetite for fun and adventure.  I was all over the place clubbing, hangouts, hiking, etc.  You name it, I was there.  Unfortunately for such activities, it was only a matter of time before the financial well I was drawing into, started to indicate that it’s just a matter of time before it ran comp...

All rise, Court is in session. ⚖️

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    Later on, after he is brought to court to answer charges brought against him. The prosecutor's have taken their time and argued their case against a man brought before the court on the charges of thoroughly raping two women on his backyard for 3 hours non stop    Judge : I have heard enough from the prosecutors’ side. Now I want to hear the defense of the accused. Accused : Waliniroga niwadinye. Judge : Kindly, narrate to the court, the events that occurred at the time and how it came to be..? Accused : Okay.., Naweza kumbuka hio day vizuri. Nilikuwa nimetoka kuvuna hio siku. Nilikuwa nimechoka kabsaa, kitu tu nilitaka ni kuoga kukula na kulala niamkie the next day kumalizia kuvuna. Judge : Go on, what happened then? Accused : Ju ya venye nilikuwa nimechoka, nililala ka mawe hadi nikaamka suddenly ju ya uchungu. Judge : So what do you think caused this pain?   Accused : Kusema ukweli, sijui, kitu najua ni niliamka tu with my member, Mr Abdall...