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Showing posts from January, 2025

Rhumba ya Jirani.

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  It's 11:18, I'm yet to sleep.  Earlier, hapo 6 or 7 pm, jirani karibu animalize na Dojo Maber, playing it over and over again, karibu I head over there, knock on their door, and tell them, hata kama ni kupenda wimbo aje, imetosha sasa.  But ni kama alijua or alisense before niende nimbishie, akachange playlist, akaamua sasa ni ngoma za Sauti Sol back to back. As I'm writing this, ni Insecure by Sauti Sol playing, ma baddies wakising along this part at the top of their voices,  Chini ya maji, si ni machizi Twachunguzana kipolisi And your body is a movie And I hope you feel the same But you're insecure (eeeeeh) Oh my you're insecure (aaaaaah) Oh my you're insecure (eeeeeh) And I'm insecure (aaaaaah) Before like an hour before, nilikuwa niko 50/50, scratch that, nilikuwa nimebakisha kidogo ni gate crush, ju naskia masauti nyororo, niko zile za damn it!  Si nivuke kwa jirani?  Kumbe this is how Fomo feels like? Such a nasty, nasty feeling! Inafanya hadi nakaa...

Shwaaaa!

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            The sun was freaking hot and the sun had no issues baking y'all, ndio at least muive. I remember November December 2018 vividly, like it was yesterday. It was so freaking hot that ungejimwagilia maji kwa mgongo ingelia kama venye maji kwa sufuria moto hulia, shwaaaaa.  Anyway, I know the devil is next to you whispering in a smooth convincing tone, “enda swimming sahii,  kuna joto” Before you go, chill and lemme tell you about my first ever swimming expedition. Growing up, I was learning about useless stuff like insect anatomy and how the international space station works. So I missed out on childhood happiness like duff mpararo (I have only one experience) and bike races.  Back then I was 20 and somewhere in Machakos county with my gang, a place where there is a wide river that crosses our location. My whole gang is aware that I do not know the skill of fish. After all, fish do not know how to walk  (nisiskie mtu akitaja vill...

Vijana wa Mulot

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Hii Nairobi kuna watu tofauti, for example, there are those that work hard, those who don't, those who wake up to chase the bag, and those who wake up to chase the bag that you have been chasing.  In the heart of Nairobi, under the shadow of the bustling city, my friend Alan, a tech-savvy software developer with a penchant for pranks and a sharp wit resided. One lazy afternoon, as the sun dipped below the skyline, painting the city in hues of gold and crimson, Alan's phone buzzed to life with an unexpected call. "Hello,  tunakupigia kutoka Safaricom Customer care,"  the voice on the other end responded with a confident, almost rehearsed tone. Alan, intrigued yet cautious, decided to play along but with his own twist. "This call is now being recorded,"  Alan announced, his voice steady, betraying none of his amusement. There was a brief pause, the kind that hangs in the air like a question mark, before the scammer continued, his voice now laced with a hint of...