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Showing posts from August, 2024

Waswa

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 In my days of service I had this friend called Waswa. He was way older than me, like 3 years older but tulikua tume enlist na yeye and we found ourselves sharing a barrack cube. Tulikua 4 in 1 cube. One night while we were off duty, he told me why he joined the military. Waswa was in JKUAT, Juja campus, and he was having some sort of entanglement with his schoolmate, a pretty petite lass called Syombua.  Our boy Waswa was the one visiting her because he was in a shared hostel. Waswa’s pretty lass, Syombua, lived in Weiteithie, in a well furnished apartment. Their relationship was like 3 or 4 months old but Waswa had received all sorts of treatment. From slices to the other slices, I know you know, and if you don't, jokes on you.  Kijana in his mind assumed that the lady came from a seriously loaded family. Makosaa. Sasa one Friday Waswa as usual goes for a sleepover knowing atakula vizuri pande zote. They enjoy the night and netflix as usual until they heard, “Fungua hap...
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Hawkers Jameni IV

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This is a continuation from  Hawker Jameni III            Why would they place such important things so distant from one another? I wondered. I ran up the next flight of stairs, knocking down a couple of mannequins. After asking yet another attendant, she pointed to the changing booths at the far end of the floor.  I limped into the changing room and shut the door. I quickly chucked the shorts and stretched one rubber band, slid one foot into it and rolled it up to my thigh. I then tucked my homo erectus and held it against one thigh with the band.  The bands were quite small and tight, the poor quality has a low elasticity so I added another one and walked out, like a normal human being – relieved- albeit with a slight limp. The bands were a little tight and uncomfortable but they were better than a dangling deek in public. I was so relieved that as I walked down the stairs, I confidently saluted an attendant who was redressing the mannequin...
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What if?

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The previous few weeks had been draining. I don't want to get into details, but bad things, one after another, kept on happening, and all you could say is Yarabi, shake that tree, let the bastard fall, and fall hard!  Anyway, bad things happening back to back might make your blood boil in anger, or you sink in a deep hole of anguish and despair. I decided to go chill with someone's daughter for a while.  You know, the good old Netflix & chill. There I was, arriving at someone's daughter's residence, having scrutinized all exit points in case shit hits the fan or as the layman says, (incase kanuke), and I got the chance to bounce real quick. Having done the necessary, and layed out a plan in my head in case things go south, I knocked on her door.  I had informed her prior to coming, and she had given me the go ahead to come, but it never hurts to be prepared, you never know. She opens the door, and I can't help but laugh. She is in a minions themed onesie, lookin...
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