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Showing posts from August, 2024

Butwaa! 2

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Continuation from Butwaa Any mlevi reading this knows that hio mkojo ndio ime hold back kuzima ziii. So Liz takes her to a nearby washroom, and when she comes back, her legs seem to have forgotten their function, you know, like holding the body weight and supporting locomotion. Miguu zake ziko jelly jelly. So she just says,  "ebu mnishikilie kiasi"  That, my friends, was the last time I saw her standing. Her eyes shut, her mouth failed the speaking test, and she just fell into our hands. Visiting hours zimeisha, amevaa uniform, tuko in a location civilian hawafai kukuwa. Trouble was brewing like the water we just drank. We tell Liz juu pia yeye ako na uniform aende akuje na help as we try to make her vomit and pour water on her. Waapi!  Liz alienda na simu yake and the clothes we had brought. Mpaka leo 11 years later hajawai rudi. We are there for 30 mins and catch the radar: civilians on government land. A whistle is blown, and close to 40 officers ...
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Hawkers Jameni IV

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This is a continuation from  Hawker Jameni III            Why would they place such important things so distant from one another? I wondered. I ran up the next flight of stairs, knocking down a couple of mannequins. After asking yet another attendant, she pointed to the changing booths at the far end of the floor.  I limped into the changing room and shut the door. I quickly chucked the shorts and stretched one rubber band, slid one foot into it and rolled it up to my thigh. I then tucked my homo erectus and held it against one thigh with the band.  The bands were quite small and tight, the poor quality has a low elasticity so I added another one and walked out, like a normal human being – relieved- albeit with a slight limp. The bands were a little tight and uncomfortable but they were better than a dangling deek in public. I was so relieved that as I walked down the stairs, I confidently saluted an attendant who was redressing the mannequin...
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What if?

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The previous few weeks had been draining. I don't want to get into details, but bad things, one after another, kept on happening, and all you could say is Yarabi, shake that tree, let the bastard fall, and fall hard!  Anyway, bad things happening back to back might make your blood boil in anger, or you sink in a deep hole of anguish and despair. I decided to go chill with someone's daughter for a while.  You know, the good old Netflix & chill. There I was, arriving at someone's daughter's residence, having scrutinized all exit points in case shit hits the fan or as the layman says, (incase kanuke), and I got the chance to bounce real quick. Having done the necessary, and layed out a plan in my head in case things go south, I knocked on her door.  I had informed her prior to coming, and she had given me the go ahead to come, but it never hurts to be prepared, you never know. She opens the door, and I can't help but laugh. She is in a minions themed onesie, lookin...
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